Christ In Me

Christ In Me

by Evelyn Carter Spencer

Transcribed from the original recording; may contain errors.

I was listening to you sing and you sounded so tremendous. And you’re singing, “It is well with my soul.” You know, I think that’s the greatest testimony that any of us can have, that it’s well with my soul. And you know, to say it’s well with my soul does not mean that it has to be everything about you has to be all right. It does not mean that, you know, all the circumstances in your life have to be a-okay. But to be able to say that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, whatever state that I am in, that it is okay and it’s well with my soul. That no circumstance, no situation in life, whether it’s snowing, whether it’s raining, whether everybody’s well or whether there’s sickness or whatever, can stop it from being well with my soul. You know, my favorite character in the Bible outside of Paul, but in the Old Testament, was Enoch. And you don’t hear too much about Enoch. But he was the seventh man from Adam, according to the scripture. And you know, he’s the one that took a walk one day and stepped on out of this place. But before he went for his evening stroll, my Bible says that he had the testimony that he was pleasing to God.

And then he just took a walk and stepped out. And you know, I don’t think there’s anything more… would be more exciting than to hear God say, “I am pleased with you.” How many of us ever expect God to say to us in this day, in this age, “I’m pleased with you”? Praise the Lord. How many of you… Now, you know, it’s not… you know, it’s sad. Now, if you were standing here, where I’m standing, and looking at you, and see how few of you raised your hands when I said, “How many of you ever expect to hear God say, ‘I’m pleased with you’?” Yet we’re all here as a body of believers.

And not every one of us can say, I want to be able to hear. Or expect to hear God say, “I’m pleased with you.” That’s what I’m talking… that’s what I’m trying to get them across. See, that’s Albert. You all know that. You all know that gentleman. Stand there, Al. Stand up, Al.

Goodness of God. He’s gonna be our speaker in April. He’s gonna be speaker and pioneer with me. But Albert and I have been friends for years and years, and we haven’t seen each other for five or six years. But the moment I look back to him this morning, and I saw him, boy, my heart leaps. You know, because time has not erased the love that we have. It has only enhanced it. You know, and to me, that’s one of God’s blessings, that He would allow him to arrive on the scene at the time he did at this particular time in my life. That’s like the Lord saying, “Hey, I’m pleased with you.” Yeah. But as I said, Enoch was one of my favorite persons. And ever since I’ve been a little girl three years old, that has been my greatest desire. When I sat at my great-grandmother’s knee who taught me about the Christ that I love, was that someday I would be like Enoch.

And you know, I always said this all my life. And people say, “What do you want to be like?” I said, “I want to be like Enoch.” And they look at me like, you know, like, “What’s that, a disease?” You know? You know? And that was one of my greatest desires, was to be like Enoch. See, I wasn’t acquainted with Jesus. But I was acquainted with God. And I didn’t get up here to say this, but I’m going to tell it to you. Nobody ever introduced me to God. I knew God all of my life. As a child, I always said God was my Father. And I told my father at the age of three, my natural father, that he was not my father. That he was the instrument through which God used to bring me into this place. Well, you know, I was very popular with my dad, don’t you? But this was something that I knew in my heart. And, you know, I’ve never known anybody to introduce me to God. And, you know, to me, God was my Father. And I always, when the world would close in on me, and I wasn’t pleasing to other people. And I didn’t have a playmate. And you might think this is a fantasy, but if it is, it’s lasted for 44 years and they don’t last that long.

Fantasies, that is. And I would go and I’d talk to my Father in this great big huge room. You know. And He never was too busy to take me unto Himself. And if He was holding court or doing other things, He just kind of like nestled me in the corner of Him. Until such time as He got through and then He began to talk to me. But when I became of age, He said to me, I had to leave His presence and I couldn’t come back. And I contended with God because I couldn’t imagine living without a real relationship with Him. And so I contended with God. And you know, this has to be God because this is going on tape, ain’t it?

And I contended with God. And I went out until the age of 14. And when I was 14 years old, the Lord spoke to me. And at one time when I was in the throne room with Him, and He said to me, “Now you have to leave. And you cannot come back into My presence until you meet a man named Jesus.” And all I know is that I came out of this place that was natural for me. And I didn’t need anybody’s permission to go in and out of this place with Him. And I came into this world to stay. And all I knew is when I came out of it is that I wanted to know what was I doing here. Where was I going? What was I supposed to accomplish? And I had to find a man named Jesus. Because that was the only way that I could get back to where I knew I belonged was Jesus. And that was the key.

Now, at all this time I was living in this world. And I was going to Sunday school. And I was raised up Baptist. And I heard an awful lot about Jesus. And I could tell you any of the Bible stories that you could quote. I could tell them to you. And I ran around with a little gold star in the middle of my forehead. You know, because they used to give us gold stars when you knew the stories well. And could quote scriptures good, you know, and all that kind of stuff. Maybe they don’t do that in New England. But back in Pennsylvania, they did that. And I had all the gold stars. And I knew an awful lot about Him.

But I had never met Him. I had never had a personal encounter with Him. And when I was nine years old, I was shamed into joining the church. Because everybody else was joining. And I had to go along with the program. You know, it’s a real funny story the way I joined the church. We used to have evangelists that would come and they’d hold revival meetings. And it looked like to me they could find the biggest men with the biggest hands. And they used to wear cutaway coats when I was a kid. And this guy was about six foot five. And he came in looking at his hands about that long. And they primed us in the intermediate Sunday school class. And he said, you know, that when the evangelist comes that you were supposed to step out when he made the formal call.

Well, our church was situated on a corner. And across the street from the corner was a little store. And my mother gave me a nickel. And I was a thief. And I would take and put two cents in Sunday school and three cents in my stomach. And you used to get like five Mary Janes for a penny. I know you all don’t know what I’m talking about. But I used to get, you know, five… You could get five pieces of fudge for a penny and five Mary Janes. So, you know, I had a ball. I had a whole little sack of candy. And I’d get up in the balcony, you know, and chew and carry on, you know, while they was down there doing their thing. Well, that particular day… And the store closed at one o’clock. Or twelve thirty or quarter one, something like that. Well, all I wanted to do was to get out of Sunday school in time enough to get over to the store to get my little satchel. So I could sit through that morning thing. You know, they did.

And this man stood down front. And all the three little rows of intermediates were there including me, you know. And he made his spiel. And I stood there and looked at him. And I kept looking at the clock and he kept singing this song. And all the little robots moved out, you know. And went right on down front and shook his hand, you know. And I was left standing all alone. And I looked around and… And he kept on begging, you know. You know, “One more time! They’re going to sing one more time,” you know, for me. You know, I was the biggest sinner in the whole church. And finally, I’m looking at the clock and I’m saying, “Why don’t this man get up off my back? I want to go to the store and get my…” You know. And he just kept on singing. So finally, as I was standing there, I was standing there. And he wouldn’t let me sit down because he was determined that I was coming as I was determined I wasn’t. And finally, I heard this voice say to me, “Evelyn, don’t be no nigger. Join the church!” Well, I didn’t want to be a nigger, so I ran down the aisle.

I didn’t know that that didn’t make no difference. You know. You know. So when I come time to be baptized, you see, I was baptized by immersion. You know, Baptists believe in dunking you down and going up under the water and the whole bit. I went down in the water a dry sinner, and I came out a wet one. There was no change whatsoever in my life because I had not yet met Jesus Christ as Lord over my life. Okay? Oh, I went through all the formalities of being a good Baptist. Oh, I was one of the best Baptists every time the door opened up. Man, here I had my business, you know, and I became a sunshine girl. And that’s a missionary, junior missionary, a busy bee, graduated right on up through the ranks, you know. And the whole schmear, you know. And you couldn’t tell anybody that I wasn’t a good Christian. I was an usher. I was a member of the Sunday school. I even taught about Jesus. And I never knew the Man until one day I had a personal encounter with Christ. And I had to make a choice. And I serve Jesus Christ today because I love Him. And I made a choice to serve Him. And I had a real experience with Him.

Because I had a choice between Him and another. And He never said a word to me. That’s one thing I like about Jesus. You know, He just stood there at the foot of my bed in all His glory. In all of His splendor. With outstretched arms. And He never said a word. Not one word did He say. He just stood there with His arms outstretched. And opposite Him on the same road with another figure. All dressed in black. That just kept going like this. And I turned from that figure to the glimmering, shimmering, shining, beautiful Christ.

And I chose Jesus. And as I said yes to the Lord, with a wordless word, in me, within me was going on, “The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want.” You see, I knew it. I knew the scriptures because I loved them. I had been raised on them. But you see, I had never once said, in a sincerity of heart, “The Lord is my shepherd.” And that wordless word. And that voice that was within me began to say, “The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want.” And that wordless word in me.

Connected. And out of my mouth, the wordless word became the uttered word. And the reality of Jesus. And the love of God poured out over me. And exploded within me all at the same time. And I became a whole being. There was no more fragments in my life. I was one person in my relationship.

And then I received the infilling of the Holy Spirit. And all of this experience came to me in my Baptist church with nobody leading me, nobody teaching me. Just me being hungry for Jesus. I wanted to get back to God the Father. I wanted to get back to that relationship that I had known all of my life. I wanted to get back to God. That ability to run in and out of the Kingdom. At will. And I received the infilling of the Holy Spirit in ignorance.

And the moment that I received the infilling of the Holy Spirit and had my experience, immediately… that’s why I like that word immediately. The God I serve works immediately. I said something about it this morning. Immediately, I was back in my relationship with God the Father. Do you know the Word of God says that no one knows the Father save whom the Son reveal Him to. You see, that word is real to me because I’ve lived that word. And you see, there’s no other name whereby men can be saved other than the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. We can become intellectually giants, but except we become as a little child and come through Jesus Christ, we cannot come to a real knowledge and union with God the Father. There’s only one way. And when Jesus Christ stood up and said, “I am the way, the truth, and the light,” He meant exactly what He was saying. There’s no other way. And, you know, many times as I have traveled the length and the breadth of the land, people have said to me that are much more spiritual than I am, you know, like, you know, like, “You’re too, you’re not eclectic enough.” You know, what is that? You know, I’m too one-sided. Because I’m a Jesus freak. I love Jesus. You know. And I have never followed dance and lights and, you know, all these other things because I don’t know anything. And they often say to me, “Well, how did you get to know what you know?”

I said, “Jesus taught me. Jesus has taught me everything that I know.” And I don’t believe in playing around with corporals and sergeants when I can deal with the commanding chief. You see, I can go to the source, which is God Himself, through Jesus Christ, to know anything that I need to know. Because He is more willing to relate things to us than we’re willing to find out. And I didn’t get up here to say this. You know, but it’s okay with me. I don’t know how it sits with you know, but I’ve just been exposed a little bit more out here.

And you see, that’s one of the greatest things that I’ve learned when I became willing to be transparent. When we become free enough to be looked at and allow others to look at us and to see us as we are, we’re growing. And what I got up here to talk about was growing up in the Lord. You know, he said, Paul said that we are to grow up to the standard height of Jesus Christ, which is nothing less than having His personality in us. And that’s available to each and every one of us. The very nature and personality of Jesus Christ. And he said, the reason why we need to grow up in our relationship with Him up to the standard height of His personality is that we not be children. Tossed to and fro by every wind and doctrine. We need to know what is truth. Jesus says, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He’ll lead and guide you into all the truth. Not some of the truth, not partial truth, but all of the truth. And He said, anything that He hears of me, He will relate it to you and tell you things that are to come. I just quoted John 16:13 and 14 for you Bible students.

But He, you know, the Lord does not want to remain a mystery to any of us. He wants us to draw nigh unto Him. That’s why He sent Jesus to smooth the veil, that separating curtain. And then what did he say? “Let us come forward in boldness and unqualified assurance.” Do you know that you and I have the right to skip lightly up to the throne? Did you know that? Like little children, we can run up to the very throne of God and make our petitions known. You know, we’ve got a right to burst in. And do you know that He is never too busy to hear you? And do you know the switchboard of heaven never gets overladen? You never get a beep, and all the trunks are busy like you do when you call long distance? Ever had that experience of trying to call long distance and you get that old funny busy signal and the operator comes on and says, “Oh, that trunk’s a man thing,” huh? I tried to call my daughter in California Christmas and it took me from 8 o’clock in the morning to 11 o’clock at night because the trunks got busy. I said, “Thank God that Jesus Christ ain’t on a trunk line.” Huh? Because if I had to wait for some of the trunk, you all get to talking and I try to get through, we would never, we’d be all messed up, wouldn’t we?

But you know that He’s that big and that He knows every one of us by our names. And there can be 40 Marys calling on the same line at the same time and He won’t get their Mary mixed up. And He won’t give one Mary’s message to the other Mary. Oh, you know, He’s fantastic. Have you ever thought about the mind of God? Huh?

The mind of God. And that He knows every… you know what? He knows every hair that’s on our head. He knows how many we lose. He can put them all back. You know? You know? You know, He loves us. You know? He really loves us. And He’s concerned about us. And you know, He brings us… You know, you wouldn’t bring a baby into the world. Or would you? And then bring it into the world and say, “Now get out there and grow!” Huh? And never feed it. Never nurture it. Never change his diapers or anything. You know, just tell it to grow.

Huh? Now we don’t have them like… What was them birds you said? Or some kind of birds that’s talking about precocious? No, no, he called them something precocious. Or galanations. You know, but you know, that bothered me in my church. We would open the doors of the church. And we would invite people to come and join the church.

And that was it. And the Lord showed me one time in a vision. A baby. And I picked up this baby and the Lord said, “Evelyn, they’re like new Christians. They need to be loved and trained and taught the way.”

And which led me to start a youth department, a youth group in my own church. That the Lord blessed in a fantastic way. We’ve gotten ministers, a number of ministers that have come out that youth group. But just like we become, bring children in the world. And we nurture them. And we train them. And we bring them up. So ought we to do likewise. As believers. To become nurtured in the Lord. And to study the Word of God. Why? Because the spirit of man’s food is the Word. And we can take time out for Coke breaks. And coffee breaks. And sandwiches. Cigarette breaks. Cigarette breaks. You know. The whole schmear. But when it comes down to sitting down with the Word, I just don’t have time.

And so we’ve got overfed bodies and undernourished spirits. And when the time comes to call upon our spirit, you know, we’ve got a little puny spirit that we’ve got to operate with to do a man-type job. You know, and you said you never sent a boy to do a man’s job. Huh? That’s what the world says, but God sent David.

What’s that mean? What’s that mean? But what I’m talking about is that I hope that the Lord, through what I’m saying to you, will get you to know that you’ve got to grow up. And do you know that you never get so independent that you don’t need Him? In the kingdom, it’s interdependence. “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.” The Lord told me on Christmas Day, I spent Christmas alone. And the Lord had impressed me to buy a turkey and fix a full turkey dinner. And I thought, “Ain’t nobody here but me.” He said, “Fix the dinner.” So I bought a turkey and I cooked a turkey and so forth. You know, it’s so exciting to live with Jesus in a living reality. Because all I had… the only responsibility I had for the Christmas dinner was to cook it. It was up to God to send somebody in to eat it, you see. And it was so exciting to see who He was going to send in to eat that meal with me, you know. And I had to go through all the… you know, like cooking a big meal like I would for my whole family. And He told me I had to be dressed by 4:30.

Okay? And I said, “Okay.” And I had offers from all over the United States to come for Christmas dinner. People offered to fly me to Idaho and California and all over the place. But the Lord was impressing me to stay home. Okay? And so I was simple enough to stay home. And about 3:30, it came to me that the person that was coming was going to be someone who had lost a mother. And that would need to spend time with a mother. At quarter after 4, my doorbell rang. And a young man walked in my house, who used to date my middle girl, all through high school. And he had a Christmas present for me. And his mother had died two years before on Christmas. Had a heart attack and dropped dead. And he came in and he sat down and he talked with me. And you know, you never know when you’re sowing seeds when you live.

And he began to talk to me and he began to say, “You don’t know what an impression that you’ve made on my life. There are things that you told me when I was a boy 16 and 17 years old that have carried me to where I am today. That I did not know I was saying.” And he said, “You know, the thing that bothers me, when you talk to me,” and he said, “all I heard you say to me is commitment.” Commitment, I never used the word commencement with him. We talked about everything else. When he says, “What I hear you saying to me is commitment.” He said, “I want that inner peace that you have.” He said, “But I hear you saying commitment.” He said, “But I’m too young for this stuff. I’m only 25 years old and I’m struggling to be independent. I’m a young black man and I want to be independent.” And I said, “But I’m independent.” And he said, “Yeah, I know. And that’s what bothers me.” And I said, “My independence comes because of my inner dependence on Christ.” He said, “But that spells commitment.” And he said, “I don’t want to do that.” I said, “Okay, honey, it’s your choice.” But he said, “I still want what you have.” And I just presented Jesus to him. And I said, “No, it’s your choice.”

And he got up and he walked away and he shook his hand, his head. And I said, “Jesus, I claim him for You.” I said, “Now I expect to see him in the kingdom when I get there. Do it Your own way.”

And do you know, I expect to see that young man when I get to the kingdom, whether it be 10 years, 50 years, tomorrow, tonight, he don’t make no never mind. And I’m going to spend eternity with that young man. Because that’s promised to me. Did you know that? That you and I can lay hold and claim, you know, when we really begin to grow up in the Lord, you know, Satan sits down and anticipates his victories.

I’m here. Did you know that he sits down and anticipates his victories? Yeah. Huh? And we as believers ought to sit down and anticipate ours. And do you know, if we start to claim in the things that we want from the Lord, claiming them, do you know that when it comes down to the wire, that the decision will be made on our side? Huh? Yeah. But if you don’t never claim it. Do you know? Yeah. Do you know that the Lord told the people to go in and possess the land? And He said, “Your enemies are subdued before you.” And do you know, they ran around out there in the wilderness 40 years with God making provisions for them, and they still couldn’t have enough sense to go in. Right? And when they did get around to going in 40 years, it was a whole new crew that went in. You know that, because all them old folks died out there in the wilderness. Sorry about that, old folks. But they died out there in the wilderness, and God raised them up another crew that was simple enough to believe Him, and go in and possess the land. And you know, Joshua did something I thought that was fantastic. He never had a committee meeting.

Did you know, Joshua, when God spoke to Joshua and told him to get the camp together and run through the camp and tell him, “Get your vittles together, because in three days we’re going over Jordan.” You know, that’s what the Word says. Doesn’t it say, Alfred? He did not have, he could have made a very poor Methodist, because he never had a committee meeting. Presbyterians could have never made it. See, because he didn’t have any kind of committee meeting. He told them what he was going to do. And they went in. And do you know that when they got to where they were going, into the different cities and things, the people was hovering in the towns, shaking and quaking, because the word had gone forth about this strange people, whose God was with them, that provided for them, and they was waiting to give up.

Y’all don’t hear me. They were waiting to give up to the strange people because of their God. You know, if we’d read the Bible and believe, you know, the biggest sin is unbelief. Did you know that? Yep. The biggest sin is unbelief. You know what man’s going to be convicted for? He’s going to be convicted for his unbelief. Did you know that? And he said, anything that’s not of faith is sin. And I want to read to you out of the Amplified Bible what faith is. When I got to Amplified Bible and read the 11th chapter of Hebrews, I tell you, it put dancing in my feet. Now, unless you’ve got an Amplified Bible, it ain’t going to read like this. It’s a thing. It’s a thing. I was asking about the page numbers because he’s got an Amplified Bible, too.

What’s that? 352. Hebrews 11:1. And I want you all to listen to this with your hearts. Here? Because this will do something to you. It starts off with one of the greatest words in the scriptures to me. You see, I was raised with an after a while, by and by, pie in the sky kind of relationship with God. And, you know, they used to say, “As soon as my feet strike thine,” you know, “everything will happen all right. And everything will be sewed up after I die.” See, ain’t nothing going for me while I live. Everything will happen after a while. But this passage of scripture defundated all of that. Because, say, I got a God that’s a present tense God. I got a God that’s concerned about Evelyn right this minute. So this passage of scripture starts out with “now.”

What does “now” mean? What does “now” mean? Something like immediately? Immediately, if not sooner? Is that what “now” means? Gordon? Huh? Okay. It says, “Now faith is the assurance, the title, the confirmation, the title deed of the things you hope for. Being the proof of the things that you do not see and the conviction of their reality. Faith perceiving as a real fact that which has not yet been revealed to the senses.” Did y’all hear them? Now that I’m making… Don’t that kind of excite you? Huh? You see, we’ve had past faith for salvation. You know, we believed and we were saved. Right? That’s past faith. We got future faith. Huh? For resurrection. Right? But what I need is some right now faith for the situation that I am in now. And you see, I tried to tell you yesterday, I got a total God. And He deals not only with the past and the future, but He deals in the now. So I got now faith for this very moment. And you see, as you grow up, your faith will increase to believe God for that which you cannot see. And you see, you reach out and take it by faith. And as you lay hold to it, you pull it into existence. You know, like a wife says to her husband, you know, which wife’s name, Al?

I can pick on you. Dorothy. Dorothy says to Al, “I’d like to have a Duncan Phyfe table.” He says, “I can’t afford it.” So by faith, she pictures the Duncan Phyfe table. See? And every time that she thinks on that table, she says, “Praise the Lord,” and a leg goes on the table.

When she sees it again, it’s got one leg, see? And then by faith, she praises the Lord. There goes the other leg. Till she has made a Duncan Phyfe table. Okay? Something like an anniversary comes along. You know?

And the man pulls up to the door and wants to know does Mrs. Dorothy Freeman live at this address? And he says, “Well, I’ve got a gift for you.” You know? And she opens the door and lets him in. And her husband just happened for some reason that she couldn’t possibly understand because he told her he couldn’t afford it. Had just gone downtown and bought her a Duncan Phyfe table. You know? But she put all the legs and the arms and everything on that Duncan Phyfe table. The leaves and everything. You know? See? All that good stuff is just wasted on you all.

But that’s what faith will do. Faith never knows denial and it totally ignores facts. Did you hear me? Huh? Faith ignores circumstances and absolutely ignores facts. Like one man wanted to… he so simply wanted to believe God for healing and he had an itch. And he says, “God, I know You can do anything.” So he had prayer for the itch and the itch didn’t go nowhere. So he stood up and he said, “I thank You, Jesus, that You have healed me for this itch.”

“Thank You, Jesus, that You healed me for this itch. Thank You, Lord, for healing me for this itch.” And he never stopped thanking the Lord for the itch until finally there wasn’t no itch. He never denied that he had the healing because of the circumstances. Because his God was bigger than any circumstances. You grow it up when you can act like that. Little children says… You know how little kids run in and say, “Mommy, I fell down.” Crying and carrying on. And they say, “Here, let me kiss it for you.” And instantly they stop crying. Ain’t no kiss in the world ever stop the broken leg from hurting. But that child believes. That it is. I was in Rye, New York. I’m talking about growing up and being co-laborers together with Christ and everything that you need, you have. You do know that, don’t you?

And I was in Rye, New York. And I was staying with this family. And they had kittens. And I’m not a cat lover. But God, you know, He can heal anything. And this child, they had… Her cat had four kittens. And… Well, it had five kittens. That’s what it was. And the one kitten wasn’t making it too real. And she went to her father. And she said, “Daddy, Samantha has rejected the little black cat.” And so she said, “Do something about it, Daddy. Do something about it, Daddy.” So Daddy came home for lunch. And the little black cat was off by itself. Kitten was off by itself. So Daddy got a baby bottle. And he tried to feed it. And then he said, “Well, the mother knows best. And whatever will be, will be.” Now, when Heidi come home, the little black kitten had died. And she came running in the house when her daddy come home. And she said, “Daddy, the little cat, the kitten died.” And he said, “Yes, I know.” She never once said to her daddy, “Well, I asked you to fix it. And you didn’t fix it. And the cat died.” He said, “I was home for lunch. And I tried to feed it. And it wouldn’t eat. And so I let her alone.”

And she said, “That’s okay, Daddy. I knew you wouldn’t fail me.” I looked at that little kid. And I said, “If we as believers had as much faith in our Father as that child had in her daddy to fix it, and then not blame him because it didn’t turn out the way she wanted it to turn out, but she was just thankful to know that her daddy was on the scene.”

You’re growing up. We’re growing up. He tells us to live and deal truly. To love truly. And you know, the best thing to do is when you can’t do it, say, “Look, Lord, I can’t do it.” I read… I’m coming from Ephesians, the fourth chapter.

And when I read all the things he said I was supposed to do, live duly, deal truly, and all that kind of stuff, I said, “Look, I’m defeated before I even get started.” So I said, “I’ll tell You what You do, Lord. Do it for me. Do it through me. Do it in me. And do it as me. Here I am. Now You love through my heart. Think through my mind. Speak through my lips. See through my eyes. Hear through my ears. Touch through my hands. You stand tall in me and do Your own thing. Now I know the world is going to see me, but I’ll give You the praise. Because that’s the only way they’re going to know that my life is His life and that He is real.” Because what we testify has got to become our life. We’ve got to become so much a part of the message that we preach. We’ve got to become so much a part of our testimony that our lives speak if we never say a mumbling word.

And the world will know. You’ve got to think you’re altogether lovely in order to be altogether lovely. I had to accept the fact that God loved me and that I was a together young black woman before it ever became a reality in my heart. Because I could tell Him how many things was wrong with me. I could tell Him how fat I was. I could tell Him how ugly I was. I could tell Him everything that was wrong about me. But I had to start looking at myself through the eyes of Jesus Christ. And when I started looking at myself through the eyes of Jesus Christ, there was a whole different ballgame.

And then when He said, “Ev, you’re altogether lovely,” I could say, “Yes, you are.” And I began to act like I was altogether lovely. Because He said it. And He said, “Let God be true and every other man a liar.” And not because I felt altogether lovely, Al, but because He said I was, I had to begin to act like it. And if I believed it, then I had to put it into practice. And the more I put it into practice, the more of a reality it came to me.

But every time I denied it, I never thought I was a beautiful woman. And I’ve always wanted to be beautiful. I’ve always wanted to be beautiful. And my aunt said to me one time, and I was sitting down as a youngster, and I would get very intense. My children get all intense in what they’re doing. And I was down in the floor playing with some dolls or something, and she came by me and she said, “Gal, what are you doing?” You know, I jumped up, you know, all scared. I knew what in the world was coming off, you know. And I said, “Nothing.” And she said, “Do you know when you frown, you’re one ugly child, but when you smile, you’re beautiful.” Well, I broke out and went to grinning. I’ve been grinning for 44 years. Because if smiling will make you beautiful, I’m going to make it. That’s what’s going to do the trick. I’m going to make it. But I believed her. And so I started doing the thing that she said. And she just said, “Grin, smile. You got such a pretty smile.” But I recently got very tired, and the Lord kept giving me the word “regroup.”

Regroup. And I am a firm believer for every inward psychological, physical, spiritual thing that is going on. There’s got to be an outward manifestation. So the Lord said, “Regroup.” Well, I don’t know how to regroup. See, I don’t mind telling God what I don’t know how to do. You know, He’s never surprised when I tell Him I don’t know how. He knows in the beginning I don’t know how. You know, but I said, “Now, if You want me to do this and so, You’ve got to teach me.” So, you know, to regroup, you know, I want to go home and crawl up in the corner of my couch and sit down, you know, and do one of these things. And I got home, and I found out that I began to rearrange all the furniture in my house.

Now, He said, “Regroup.” Okay? And I was lying in my bedroom, and I’ve been wanting a new bedroom suite for years. Now, you see, I believe in a practical God. I guess you all know that by now, don’t you? Huh? You know, I do believe in a practical God that deals with practical everyday things, you know. I mean, He sits high and looks low and runs the affairs of men on earth. I firmly believe this, you see. So I’m laying there, and I’m looking, and I’ve been wanting this new bedroom suite for the longest kind of time. And here I rearranged this bedroom suite. And I looked at this bedroom suite, and I thought, “My God, it’s beautiful.”

And the Lord said to me, “Evelyn, it’s not always necessary to get rid of the old. All of the old. It just needs to be redeemed.” And I said, “Okay.” And then He began to show me the beauty that was in my apartment. And all my whole home, just my whole apartment just took on a whole new thing. And the Lord said to me, “Evelyn, you love beauty, don’t you?” And I said, “Yes, Lord.” He said, “You adorn yourself with beautiful clothes and beautiful things, don’t you?” And I said, “Yes, Lord.” He said, “But you have never accepted your own beauty.”

He said, “Everything in this apartment that you glory in is an outward expression of your beauty. These are your thoughts and your innermost expressions being put into life. But,” He said, “why can’t you accept your own beauty?” And I thought, “That’s heavy.” See, everything that you need, you’ve got. And it was fantastic. He took a little gold table that I thought I was going to send to my daughter. And I had been wanting another table for my bathroom. And He put it in there. And He said, you know, and God is a specific God. He says, “Take a white candle, a black ashtray. My bathroom is black and white.” He said, “Put the white candle on the table, a black ashtray, a pencil, a notebook, and a magazine.” Now, let me tell you think that’s something. Okay, I do an awful lot of meditating.

You see? He was just fixing things up so I wouldn’t have to jump up and run, you know, sometimes. He is so together. Down to the minutest detail. Down to the minutest detail. And if we will only grow up in our relationship with Him. And allow Him to be God. And be open and sensitive. You know what I heard Milt saying to you? And to me. When he was standing up here.

Huh? Do you know what I heard Milt saying? That God was bigger than anything that there ever was. And that He fixed it from the beginning. And all man’s ingenuity can’t change what God put and purposed in the beginning. That’s what you was trying to say. Wasn’t that what you was trying to say? You know, he’s… Huh? The environment had been checked. The oxygen… Remember what you said? The oxygen since the 19… Since the beginning of the century. 1900s. For the last 74 years has been tested. And with all the crap that is going on in it. It still has not changed volume. One iota. Is that what you said?

And is that deep? As my young people say, that is heavy. You know, that all the steel mills and all the stuff that is going up there. God is keeping a balance in His universe. And do you know what? There is nothing that can get God’s universe out of balance.

Everything that He made has got an order. And it’s got to follow that order. And I want to tell you, if you take a pendulum and swing it this far, it’s going to come back to the other extreme that far before it seeks its balance. And that’s why people that go to extremes don’t bother me. Because if they’ve been impassive for a long time and they become radical, they’ve got to become radical in order to be balanced.

Isn’t that true? Huh? And if you trust in God, it don’t make no difference off of him. He’ll let him go and then bring him right on back down front. Huh? But we need to grow up in our relationship with Him. We need to grow up in our thinking. We need to grow up in our actions. We’ve given our lives and our hearts and our spirits to the Lord Jesus Christ. Our emotions, our actions and reactions. Why not allow Him to be Lord?

Lord Jesus Christ. It’s so simple. And be willing to say, “Well, I don’t know how to do what You’re saying to do. Help me. Show me. Do it for me. Do it through me. Do it in me. Do it as me.” You know, the Word of God says, “Ask the Father anything in My name, in faith, believing, and I will do it.” John 16:24. It doesn’t say you will do it. He said I will do it. And boy does that take the strain out of living.

See, this morning I begin to grow. And do you know we’re going into the blessing service. And do you know who the blesser is? But you know, He chose to use a man. And I think one of the greatest things that I discovered in my relationship with Him was that I didn’t have to be perfect. He was. And He’s perfect in me. And He said, “Don’t try to get perfect.” The Word of God never says try to get perfect. It says be perfect. You didn’t know that then. It says be perfect.

And do you know what He’s saying when He says be perfect? He’s saying be mature. Grow up and stop being little children. Do you know that it ought to be awful distressing to your Father to have to always be delivering you out of?

When He has given you everything that you need to deliver yourself. I didn’t hear you all. I read the scripture to you last night that we have been delivered out of the dominion of the power of darkness. And that Satan has no power whatsoever over us.

And God needs some people that will believe that. And act like they believe it. My Bible says He has delivered. We need to read the Bible to find out what is ours. So that you can be as fanatical as me and Albert.

And you know, we’re saying, “I’m down here in this place. Oh Lord, deliver me. Oh Lord, deliver me. What have I done? I’m down here in this valley all by myself.” I learned a long time ago that if I find myself in the valley. Okay. That either God has got somebody that’s been down there crying out for umpteen years that wants to get out. And the Lord has been saying, “Wait a minute till I can find somebody. One of my children will be willing to come down in this valley to show you how to get out.” And we every time we find ourselves getting ready to go in the valley because of putting on the brakes and the skids and whatnot. You know, “Lord, I don’t want to go down in that valley,” you know. And that poor soul down there just crying to get out. And I have found that whatever state I’m in I’m saying, “Lord, what would You have me to learn? Lord, what can I do for You while I’m in here? Or Lord, what are You teaching me? Or can I do anything for You while I’m here?” Because you know David said, “If I make my bed in hell, lo, oh God, Thou art there also. If I take the wings of the morning and fly to the uttermost part of the sea.”

Said, “Lo, Thou art there altogether.” Where am I going to go to get away from the Spirit of God? There ain’t no place to go. So wherever I am I can talk to Him because He’s in me. Remember our liver this morning, don’t you? Huh? I can’t go anywhere to get away from Him.

And He is going to make His will known to me where I am. So instead of me looking at the circumstances and befalling and bewailing where I’m at. Lord. And start looking around. How can I get out this place bringing somebody with me? You see. But that’s when you’re grown up. You know because then you know that the enemy can’t do anything with you. And if you make that left turn when you thought you should have gone right, He might be getting you out of traffic jam.

Y’all don’t live like that though, do you? Huh? Sometimes. You know the way I discovered that God talks to me. See, I read a passage of scripture. And that passage of scripture says, “My sheep know my voice. And another they will not follow.” I said, “No good. I’m one of Your sheep and I don’t know Your voice. Teach it to me.” He said, “Okay.” And then He began dealing with me. And He said to me, He began to tell me who He was. Do you ever stop to consider who God is? He’s sovereign. He is all majesty. He is omniscient. He is omnipresent. Beside Him there is none of it. And He began to tell me all that He was. And then when He got through He said, “And because I am all of this I’ll speak first.”

And He said then, “When I speak, then either you’ve got to start the reasoning or you’ve got to let slew foot come and throw doubts in your mind and then you end up like this and don’t do nothing.” So I started moving on the first thought. And what’s saying, “Lord, now if this is not of You, blot it out. But if this is You, I’ll increase it. But in the meantime, I’m stepping.” Okay? And do you know He never fails?

Do you know that? He never fails. He never fails. You’re going home. I’m going to let you go home. This doesn’t stop. I done talked the snow off. But I want you to take something with you. You see, I want this experience of this weekend to live. Just to go home and say, “Oh, well, you know, we had a good time down here and we’re really high and now I’ve got to go back down in the valley and work.” Every time I go to CFO and they get up on that last day and they get to moaning and groaning about they’ve got to go back down in the valley, you know, and they’re going to lose all that they had and all that. It just turns my stomach over. Because I go up on the mountain to take the mountain in the valley. You see? And then to, you know, a valley is that place between two mountains.

So that means there’s another mountain coming up, don’t it? Oh, it ain’t back there. Here it is. Ken, my daughter’s boyfriend. And as I discovered that His sheep know His voice and another they will not follow. And the Lord spoke so beautifully about His chief commodity. God deals, Jesus Christ deals in one thing. And you can use this as a basis for your relationship with Him in every situation. And that’s His peace. Anything that disturbs my peace ain’t of God. Just plain ain’t.

It is not of God. Anything that disturbs your peace, you can forget it. Jesus said, “My peace I give to you. I bequeath it to you. Not like the world gives do I give it to you.” I’m giving you something to take home with you. Especially you, Ruthie. Okay? He said, “My own peace I now give and bequeath.” And what do you have to do for a bequeath? Bequeathal? Bequeathal? Oh, no. You got to do more than receive it. Huh? Accept it. Accept it? Okay. You got to die to it. No, no. It’s up to the one that died to leave it to you. Okay? What do you got to do in order to get it? Claim it. You got to go make the claim. Right? Now, the Lord said, “I’m bequeathing to you my peace.” Now, it’s up to you to claim it. Okay? How many of you in here have ever claimed the peace of God?

Anybody in here that has not claimed the peace of God? Okay? Now, do you know Jesus Christ as Lord? Well, it is your right to have His peace. You know Jesus Christ as Lord? Just reach up and say, “Father, come on! In the name of Jesus, I claim Your peace. I thank You for it.”

Amen. You got His peace. He says here, now, He said, “I don’t give it as the world gives to you.” Now you’ve got my peace. Now we know that everything we get from the Lord is a two-way street, right? We’re co-labors together with Him. So He has given us His peace. Now He said, I claim it. Do you all claim the Lord’s peace? In case you haven’t, would you please right now say, Father, raise your hand up. “Father, in the name of Jesus, I claim Your peace. And I thank You for it.” Amen. Okay, now you got one hand full, don’t you? That’s one fist, right? Okay.

Now, He says, “Now that you’ve got my peace, now I’m expecting something out of you. I want you to do something.” And you say, “Now, Lord, what do I have to do?” You ready? “Do not let your heart be troubled.”

“And neither let it be afraid.” Okay, Milt? Now, see, that’s the first thing He says to you. “Do not let your heart be troubled, and neither let it be afraid.” Okay? That’s one thing that you have to do. Then He says, “Stop!” And He says, “Stop what?” He says, “Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed.” Huh? Huh?

And He says, to go a step farther, “Do not permit…” Russell, move your foot, please. “Do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.” Did y’all hear me? Would you like for me to repeat this? Yes!

I’m reading John 14:27. “Do not let your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” Okay? “Stop allowing yourselves to be fearful and intimidated. And do not permit yourself to be cowardly or unsettled. Because I’ve given you my peace.” Now, that’s what Jesus said. Now, in case you don’t think He’s a high enough authority, I told you last night what the Father said, but I’ll run it by again. The Father says to you, in the 13th chapter of Hebrews, and the 5th verse, He said, “For God Himself has said, ‘I will not leave you, nor forsake you.’” I will not, one for Himself. I will not, one for His Son. I will not, one for the Holy Ghost. The whole Godhead is saying, “I will not in any way fail you, nor give you up, nor relax my hold on you.” He said, “Assuredly not. I’m going to keep you.” Okay? So, Paul went on to say, we ought to take comfort and be encouraged and confidently and boldly say, “The Lord is my helper, and I will not be seized with alarm. Neither will I be terrified by what any man, any spirit, or any circumstances could ever do to me, because the Lord is my helper.”

Now, if you got his feet, peace in one hand, you still got that peace in that hand? Okay? I’m going to make fanatics out you. Now, I want you to reach out with this hand by faith and lay claim to God’s faithfulness to Himself.

Okay? Now, you can’t get nothing with your hand open. So, if you’re going to reach out and take it, snatch it at yours. Grab it into your hand. Okay? Now, you got two fists. You’re double-fisted Christians, right? Huh? Okay, now I want you to take it and bring it down and take a big, deep breath and breathe it in. Peace and His faithfulness to Himself. And just let it assimilate within you. And repeat after me, “I am… I am a double-fisted… a double-fisted believer… believer and Jesus… and Jesus and God the Father… and God the Father are my backup man… are my backup man.” Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Now, freely you have received. Now go and do likewise. And that which you have taken in will never dissipate. It will never go anywhere. The more you use it, the more it will become a reality. And we’re going to start right now. We’re going to pass it on.