Enough Love to Stand Him

Enough Love to Stand Him

by Robertson Smith

Transcribed from the original recording; may contain errors.

The scripture also is taken from various places in the New Testament. And the first reference is from the first letter of John in the third chapter. Behold what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God. Therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew Him not. Behold what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God.

The next one is very familiar to you, to all of us. And it’s found in the famous 13th chapter of Corinthians, the next to the last verse. For now we see through a glass darkly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then shall I know even as also I am known. I like particularly Moffat’s, which I can’t quote verbatim, but I believe it goes approximately like this. I think he says, for at the moment we see but a reflection in a glass.

But then face to face, now I am learning bit by bit. But then I shall understand as all along I was completely understood. And the next one is over in John’s Gospel. This is a great favorite of mine. Verily, I say unto you, He that receiveth whomsoever I send receiveth me; and he that receiveth me receiveth Him that sent me. And the last one.

In the 23rd chapter of Matthew, the 39th verse. For I say unto you, Ye shall not see me henceforth, till ye shall say, Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord. As I say, I’m not sure how this is going to fit together, but I think maybe somewhere it will.

Sometime ago, maybe a year, I recall I was writing a letter to someone, and was trying to explain something in it. And all of a sudden this verse, Behold what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God, popped into my mind. And the rest of it. Therefore, the world knoweth us not, because it knew Him not. And I suddenly read it with new eyes. And I thought I knew what it meant before. Maybe I did know. I don’t know what the… what’s traditionally the interpretation of it. Because I’m not enough of a Bible scholar to be sure what the traditional interpretation is. But suddenly I realized that for me what it meant was, what John was saying when, you know, he was a very old man when he wrote these letters. And this amazement of John’s when he says, Behold what manner of love the Father hath bestowed on us, that we should be called the sons of God. Well, if you look at it, yes, how much He has loved us, that we should be called the sons of God. That is true. But that He has bestowed on us suggests certainly that it is a gift that He has given us. And if He has given us the gift, why, that gift is ours to use then.

And we are beginning to become a little bit like Him. John felt that they were becoming a little bit like Him. And think what an amazing love this is, that we are endowed with, that’s been bestowed upon us, that we should be called, that people should call us the sons of God. Well, I am sure that you have had experiences like that, when the sort of thing Gertrude spoke of this afternoon. When you have said about someone, “Well, you know, it was almost like being with Jesus.” And I am sure that whoever we may have said that about, or if you were the person that we have said it about, and it doesn’t make any difference, you know, who it is. Because it isn’t the person, it’s simply the size of the opening that that person has, to allow Him to come in, because He is the same. But that I am sure that whoever that person is, that we have seen him in, has thought, well, isn’t that amazing, you know? Isn’t that wonderful? What manner of love God has endowed me with, that someone should think that I am at all like Jesus. And I think that’s what old John was feeling at this time. Isn’t it remarkable that knowing myself, that I have been given this amazing love, this amazing patience.

I was talking with someone just before the meeting on the lawn, and he was saying, or I gather his wife was saying, about someone from the church that calls, oh, four or five times a day, just to make rather complaining announcements about various and sundry difficulties of her own, that have nothing to do with the church. And that usually she could meet it very well, but that every once in a while, why she found difficulty. Which of course is not a unique story for any of you, or for me either. Because I have one also, for which I am duly grateful when I am at my best. When I am not at my best, well I forget what a joy it is to have someone like that in your life, that keeps you in constant practice of patience. And this one calls me, and he’s been wonderful for me. I’ve had him now for about three and a half years, I guess. I inherited him from Glenn Clark.

And maybe Glenn had learned what he had to, but apparently I haven’t yet. But almost everybody that I have known in CFO has had him at some time or other. And Glenn wrote me a nice letter about it, and he said the reason he suggested he call me, that I was the only one he knew around New York that had enough love to stand him. Well, that’s sort of a backhanded compliment, yet it’s very… Again, you say, well, what love the Father has bestowed upon me if I can do this? And that’s what this one has proved, that he has a wonderful mind. It’s not a completely normal one, but it’s an amazing mind. And… But it’s true. I mean, he knows all the answers. He’s brilliant. I mean, he knows all the spiritual answers. He could give you wonderful answers. He asked me what to do, and then after I’ve told him, well, he tells me what I should have told him. And he’s usually quite right. But he’d rather that I would tell it than that to him, that he would tell it himself, because it’s more interesting to call me and have me tell him. But, you know, I’m not always in the perfect mood to give him great wisdom. Although I have learned that, as I always say, these friends on the lawn, I said, I was given for one solid year, superhuman patience.

Starr wrote about it, because he knew this gentleman also. And he wrote and said, I had had superhuman patience. Well, it was. It certainly wasn’t Bob’s patience at all. And then all of a sudden, why that superhuman patience disappeared, I suppose I walked away from it, apparently, one day. And, which was a good experience also. So I start off on a new tack. And I’ve grown with him all these years.

And, I don’t know how it’s affected him. I hope it’s been, at least not harmful to him. I know it’s been helpful to me. And someone said to me about a year ago, they said, “Well, Bob, why do you stick with that man? Why don’t you just tell him to go and fry an egg sometime?” And I said, well… I said… They said, you know, there’s nothing more you can do for him. And I said, no, I know there’s nothing more. They said, there’s nothing more that God can do for him through you. That’s what they said. Well, I think that’s quite true. And so I said, no, but I have a sneaking suspicion there’s something more that God can do for me through him. And of course, everybody doesn’t feel that way. You know, some people can decide that their lessons are all learned and that they’re perfectly free to get rid of these blessings in disguise. And if they can, that’s fine, because that’s nobody’s business except our own. I cannot, because I always have a feeling that somehow or other, that if I have received all that I’m supposed to out of a situation, that either the situation will change or I will be removed from it or it from me. And this one has not.

So I would gather that it is part of my spiritual education. And it’s part of this thing of once we ask to be like Him, why, as both of us are saying, that He gives you every opportunity to practice being like Him. And, you know, it’s not easy at all. It sounds wonderful to stand up and talk about it. And as Gertrude said this morning, it’s wonderful to be able to quote the Bible from the first verse to the last verse. It’s not only wonderful, it’s healthy and helpful, I’m sure, in many ways, to yourself, to many other people. But it won’t do it. It won’t ever be the answer. That not until we come to this place where we are consciously growing in likeness to Him, are we going to be making progress. And that’s not… Well, sometimes we say in a moment of fervor that we want to do it when we’re quite young.

And it’s wonderful that we do. But fortunately, God being the sort of person He is, why, He holds those early promises rather gently, I think. But later on, I think, if we say that we want to be like Him, well, I think there’s no turning back at all. And those of you who have started, I’m sure, would agree with me that, despite the pinches and things that come along, that you wouldn’t turn back if you could. And, of course, you couldn’t if you would anyway, so you might as well feel that you wouldn’t. Because once you start on it, why, it’s too late to do anything else. And also, you found so much excitement in this thing. Because, you know, one of the things that I love about it is that everything else in this life that I’ve discovered, and, of course, I grant that there are many things I haven’t tried, but there are a great many I have, and that everything else can be exhausted in one way or the other. You can become tired or satiated with it, or you can apparently gather all there is to get from this experience. But on this road, why, if you like excitement, why, it’s never ending. You can never get to the place where you feel that you’ve mastered it.

Which, for anyone except a supreme egotist, of course, makes it very, very exciting. Because there’s always something just beyond. And, you know, you’ve come to a place where you realize that you have one certain area in your life that you’ve made progress on it. And, obviously, you have. You know that you have. Because you’ve watched yourself and you’ve seen the places where you used to react poorly, that you came to the place where you reacted fairly well a fair amount of the time. And then, perhaps, you came to the place where on that you were almost letter perfect. You almost never got your feathers caught in the swinging doors on that. But then you have this nice little rest period. And even though you know that you cannot stay there, nevertheless, you feel rather comfortable. And it’s that old human tendency to dwell on this. On this, I can speak with authority. I really provide. And you have, for the time being. For the time being. But on this road, alas, around the next corner, in a different disguise, comes the same problem. The same problem that you were sure that you had completely solved for all time. And all the work you put on it wasn’t wasted. It’s going to help an awful lot on this one.

But if we’re going to become like Him, and, why, we’re going to have to start where He started, with all of this endless love for everybody. For everybody. Because there isn’t… There’s nothing in between… Jesus and what we were before. For now we see through a glass darkly, but then face to face. And to quote Moffat again, Now I am learning bit by bit, but then I shall understand as all along I was fully understood. Well, do you remember this morning, Gertrude suggesting that it was Jesus’ knowledge of who He was, it was the plane from which He spoke when He said, I and the Father are one, that made all the difference. And of course it was the thing that made all the misunderstanding true for Him. Not only with the people who crucified Him, but with His own disciples, you know. He just almost drove them crazy at times, saying things like that. Because He would just say something about, “Well, why do you call me good? Only the Father is good.” And that sounded so comforting. And then all of a sudden, why, He would say, Why?

Come out and say, Yes, I and the Father are one. And these poor men that were fishermen, you know. I mean, after all that, you and I would be confused also, you know, with someone that suddenly came along and said things like that. And this thing went on for a long time. And you remember that finally that day when He was telling them that He was going to Jerusalem, I believe it was the same time too that they had all been quarreling, and about the places they were going to have, who was going to have the place on the left and the right. And all of a sudden, why, He asked, “Who do you say that I am?” And Peter said, “Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.” And Jesus said, “Man has not revealed this to you, but spirit.” Spirit. Well, what spirit was it that revealed it that moment? At that moment, it seems to me, that it was that same spirit that spoke in Peter.

And therefore, that was the reason that Peter at that moment recognized it. It’s the reason he could say, “Thou art the Christ.” Because at that moment, he knew, not through his brain, but this spirit, this one spirit that was operating in Peter, and that awaked at that moment, when Peter stepped aside enough so that the spirit could speak, why he knew who this was. And he understood why he could make these statements. And then, of course, having gained that place where he knew it, immediately afterwards, why he dropped right down to the bottom of the ladder. And Jesus had to turn around and say, “Get thee behind me, Satan.” Well, you know, that’s… I suppose that’s one reason that I love Peter, because I think he’s awfully like the rest of us most of the time. He’s an awfully lovable guy, you know. He really is. I mean, he rose to such tremendous heights, and he fell so far when he fell. And yet, somehow or other, that I think that Jesus had a special kind of a love for him, a special understanding. I know that John, or whoever wrote the book of John, I hope it was somebody else other than John, speaks of how much the Lord loved John. And He did, undoubtedly.

But on the other hand, you know, Peter must have come awfully close to His heart, because He understood him so much. And He had to forgive Peter so much. And it seems to me that if Mary, whom He had forgiven so much, He shows such tremendous love for, and whose love for Him made it possible for Him to manifest Himself to her on that Easter morning. Well, then it seems to me that Peter, by the same token, must have had a particularly close place in His heart. I think that somehow or other, Jesus must have known all the time that it was this rolling stone, Peter, on whom He was going to build His church. And yet he wasn’t quite… It didn’t appear that Peter was going to stop rolling long enough for anybody to build anything on him at that time. And yet this Master, this person who was so one with His Father, that He was endless love, and therefore, because it was endless love, He was also endless understanding. And He looked at this rolling stone and saw this steady rock in it. And He knew that someday he would fall right off the cliff and never roll again. And he did. He did it when he denied Him. And it wasn’t, of course, until after he had denied Him, that he knew how much He loved him.

Because it was at that moment that he was forgiven. And you know, that’s one of the wonderful things about forgiveness, isn’t it? It’s the reason that it isn’t really as mysterious as it sounds when it talks about that if ye do not forgive those who trespass against you, how can your Father forgive you your trespasses? Well, if we don’t have any forgiveness in us, how can we have any understanding of forgiveness? Because all I see is what I am. All I can see is the eyes that I have to see with, according to my present understanding. And if I have never… Excuse me. If I have never known forgiveness enough to give it to anybody, well, I’m not going to have any feeling of need for forgiveness from you. And therefore, you can’t give me forgiveness, can you? If I don’t have any feeling of need of it, you may want to forgive me, but you can’t forgive me unless I seek it, and unless I’ll accept it once you offer it to us. And that, you know, is… I think it was Walter Fiscus that years ago, I believe it was he that made a statement. Of course, it may not have been original with Walter either, because you know what you do, I’m sure, and I do.

You hear something that you like awfully well, and you hear someone say it, and you think maybe they said it, well, they heard it from Joe Doakes, and he probably read it from Epictetus or something rather, but anyway. Walter, I remember, said that one of the wonderful things about being… one of the advantages that man had over God, the only one that he knew, that God, alas, only has the joy of forgiving, but man has the wonderful joy of both being the forgiven and also the forgiver. Well, that’s quite nice, you know. Because God forgives us, and we have enough of this and this, that we also have the joy of forgiving others, but we have that even greater joy of being the one that can be forgiven, which is luxury, you know. Because, you know, there’s nothing, there’s not a greater feeling in the world than that thing, when you bring yourself to ask forgiveness, and you just are forgiven, you know. And then you can trot on like a little child and just forget about it. It’s wonderful. Well, this is the sort of thing that we’re all here for, is to start doing this, to cease talking about it. But to come to the place where every single hour of every day, that this Spirit that was in Jesus Christ, that He sent after the resurrection and after the ascension, that that Spirit in us can be so active that every moment of every day, it has a chance to express itself in you and in me.

And you know all it wants to be, you know, if any of you who are perhaps a little bit new, or standing on the edge of the pier with your toe in the water and wondering, is this the road for you? It isn’t nearly as formidable as it sounds, actually. Because, you know, you think that you’re going to give up so much, well you aren’t. Because, as far as I can see, that what God wants of me, and I’m certain that He’s got a long, long way to go before He’s going to be satisfied, but I hope He feels better about me than He used to, He should. But, that what He wants to do in me, He wants to express Himself perfectly as Bob Smith. He made me, He made this house that I live in. And He isn’t trying to make me over like somebody else. But He does want the full use of this that I am, or that I sometimes think that I am. Which again brings us back to that thing, of who am I? And who did Jesus think He was? What was it that so amazed and infuriated the people? We were talking this afternoon on the way to the meeting, about that difference, that something that happens to us, that Gertrude was talking about this afternoon, when you suddenly, it becomes real to you, that there is a difference between I and Bob.

And it makes life a lot easier, a lot easier. If you’ve ever been, or rather, I don’t know, but whatever sort of person I am, that I’m the sort that talks to myself when I’m alone, and mutters things around. And that sort of is a good stepping stone. It may not be a good sign from a psychiatrist standpoint, if there are any here, but it’s useful from my standpoint anyway. Because I used to find myself walking around the house, and, oh, I’d be muttering under my breath about something or other. And finally say, “Oh, shut up, Bob. I’m sick and tired of listening to you.” Well, then you come to the place, you sit down, and you say, well, who is this? Who am I sick and tired of listening to? Who is it that’s sick and tired of listening to me? Well, I’m all right. If I can manage the shooting match, I can do a pretty good job with Bob. But if Bob starts to manage, it can be an awful mess. And that’s the sort of beginning thinking that helps when you’re trying to find out, not just in an intellectual way, but in a very practical way, the difference between this spirit that dwells in us, this that would like to be perfect, and this body that we call Bob or Jane or Mary or Joe, who often thinks that he or she is this person.

And of course, they aren’t. That’s just an instrument. This is an instrument of mine, an instrument of yours. And the same with this mind, that also, you know, can become a terrific tyrant, and think that it is I also. Well, I am not my mind, alas. My mind may not be quite sure, but yet, but I’m not. And it’ll learn it someday if it hasn’t learned it yet. My mind is for my use. And my body is for my use. But Bob forgets it at times. Not nearly as much as he used to, because Bob manages to stay sort of here at heel most of the time now. And of course, eventually, he’s finding that he’s happier that way. He doesn’t get his door, his nose caught in the door, or his tail either one, as much as he did when he went romping out in front. It’s much better if you can get to the place where you can talk to yourself. And you know that this one that is doing the speaking, that you are speaking with authority. And you’ll be tougher on this person, by the name of Bob or Jane, than someone else. Or you will allow yourself. You’ll take it better from them. And you actually can do the talking better, because you know them better than anyone else.

I know what tricks Bob can play on me. With his thinking, with all kinds of pretending, with excuses and whatnot. And it just doesn’t work. I remember one time when someone… I was telling about having to apologize to a friend of mine who was an alcoholic, and at that moment had been, I guess, quite drunk probably. And over a long period of time, and I had become impatient. I was even newer then at this road than I am now. And I was more of what we call normal, which of course is abnormal or subnormal. But anyway, more of what we like to think is normal anyway. And I used to… even though I understood it, as well as a person could, that wasn’t an alcoholic. And although I quite know that I did very, very well over the period of years. But nevertheless, I had times when my patience understandably, but wrongly, got frayed. And this one time I remember, I just walked out. It was three or four o’clock in the morning. And told him a thing or two, you know, those things that you just suddenly say, well, that’s that.

And so I had to go back and apologize to him. Because I knew I was wrong. So I was telling a friend of mine in a prayer group, a prayer group that he had started, actually, too. Just continued until recently, going since 1949. And started by this alcoholic. I was telling her about this business. And she said, “Well, don’t be silly. You’ve got to learn to forgive yourself.” And I said, “Well, I don’t have any trouble forgiving myself.” But I said, “I won’t excuse myself,” which is a very, very different matter. And it is different, you know. I can forgive myself quickly. Quite quickly. That doesn’t bother me. I know it’s right. And I know it pays. And I know that anything else is self-indulgence. But I won’t excuse myself once I know better. Nor can we excuse ourselves. Because there’s a terrible danger. A terrible danger on this road that once we know the way, that unless we actually walk that way, that we know why we are just a living betrayal of all that we say that we believe. It doesn’t make any difference, as Jesus said, those who have never heard. There is no sin for them. But those of us who have heard and seen and knew, there is.

So we might as well make up our mind that we might as well enjoy the chase once we start. And it will be fun, you know. Because it gets to the place where, oh, you know, you used to have that nasty, sneaking fun that Jesus speaks to of enjoying someone else’s mistakes, you know. Which, of course, is just a very, not too subtle way of preferring not to look at our own mistakes. But you actually get to this place, you know, where you have fun catching yourself with your, well, your spectacles down or whatever you want to say. That it is fun. Because, and one reason it becomes fun is because you no longer think you are this person, you know. And it is much easier when I am this that lives within me and that I know better. And I can take Bob right across the coast and say, “Look, don’t try to fool me. Don’t try to fool me. I know perfectly well that when you said that, it may have sounded nice, but you didn’t mean it nice.” And it doesn’t make any difference how nice it sounds, you know. Because this God who is spirit, He sees in secret. And no matter what fine front we put on, and no matter how nice the words sound, why, if we can say, oh, bless him.

And you’ve heard people say that where, well, at least I’ve heard them say it, and I’d run a mile lest they should catch up with me. Because even though the word has been blessed, why, I have known without any great insight that that was not what they meant, haven’t you? I’ve heard people also say, well, oh yes, I release him. I relinquish him. Well, that’s not what Jesus meant by releasing and relinquishing. That’s hand washing. That’s just a nicer way of saying, well, I’m sick and tired. And as far as I’m concerned, he can go and jump in the lake. That’s not release. That’s not relinquishing. That’s bondage. What Jesus was talking about was the thing where you can just completely let the person go and know that no matter what they do, that all right, you’re ready to start again anytime they want some help. That you’re not going to judge them. That you can quite understand it. That you’re sorry. You may not approve, but approval has nothing to do with the case at all. Because you are coming to the place where, bit by bit, we are learning understanding. And we know that eventually we are going to come to that place where we will understand as all along, I was fully understood.

Well, of course, when we get to that place, if we ever do, and I don’t suppose that we ever will be able to understand what we think of as, you know, anything we can understand now. Not if we’re talking… what we’re talking about is eternity and infinity. I can’t believe that this perfection that we’re talking about, we’re striving for, is within the immediate understanding of any of us that are now living on this earth. I don’t see how it can be. But we know we’re going towards it. We know that that is the inescapable goal. And that every time that we become more understanding of somebody else, that we are becoming more like Him. There’s no question about it that we are.

Verily, I say unto you, He that receiveth whomsoever I send receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth Him that sent me. This is the particular quotation that’s in John. There’s one also in Mark, I believe, and Matthew, that are slightly different. One says, whosoever receives… One of these little ones, when He speaks of the children, in my name receives me and receives Him who sent me. And the other one is when He’s speaking to the disciples, I believe. And it’s worded slightly differently. But I like particularly this one here that says, He who receives whosoever, whomsoever I send, receiveth me. You know that also… You can read that in one way that is a very safe way to read it. And it’s probably quite theologically true. I’m sure it undoubtedly is.

But if you receive whomsoever He has sent… Well, who did He send? But if you say, I will send… That he who receives whomsoever I send in my name. Not only that He sent them in His name, but if you receive in His name anybody…

Why, they’ve been sent from Him, haven’t they? Didn’t He say that inasmuch as ye do it, unto one of the least of these, my brethren? And didn’t what He mean here is, whoever you receive in my name, without any regard one way or the other, no matter what they’ve done to you, no matter what kind of people they are, that whoever is willing to do that, to receive them in my name, will receive me, and whoever receives me, receives Him who sent me. Well, you know, that’s an awfully big order. It’s an awfully big order. And there’s no use pretending that most of us do it for any great portion of the time. But that’s the reason that we don’t have this constant joy, you know? It’s the reason that we don’t know the peace that doesn’t make sense, is because we don’t do it often enough. Because every time, and I’m sure that there are scores of you sitting out there, that have had experiences, where you’ve suddenly gone way beyond yourself in doing something for someone that you normally wouldn’t do anything for at all. You don’t know why you did it, but you just had to. You just went ahead and did it, and everyone thought you were an utter fool.

Utter fool. You might as well get accustomed to that, because the world won’t know you. The world won’t understand you. Because it didn’t know or understand Him. The sons of God, by the world, cannot understand. And it won’t, as long as they are of the world. It’s only those who are of the Spirit that will understand it. And there aren’t a great many, alas, yet, you know? There are a lot more than there used to be. But there are an awful lot of borderline cases that you’ll think that are. And then sometime, when you go all the way out on something like that, and you stick to someone literally through thick and thin, you receive just anybody in His name, which you know what it means, in His Spirit. I mean, you can say, “I receive you in the name of Jesus Christ,” you know? And it can be wonderful, or it can be absolutely meaningless. Because after all, those are only words, too.

Because it isn’t only the letter of the law that killeth, well, the letter of the Scripture can killeth, too. It’s the Spirit, as Gertrude said this morning. And so that is the sort of change that’s got to come in us if we’re going to become like Him. We’re going to have to go step by step over this road that He walked.

Except, you know, there’s an old song, I imagine, that Bernie knows. It isn’t an old song, probably. It’s a spiritual, some sort of folk song. Jesus walked the lonesome valley. He had to walk it by Himself. Nobody else could walk it for Him. He had to walk it by Himself. And you know, and then it goes on, and you must walk your lonesome valley. I remember we used to do it someplace with a rhythm thing. I guess it was with Margaret Fisk years ago. It’s up at Star. I think it’s in that book of hers. And in that, you know, the nice thing was, the time you walked down that lonesome valley, you always found somebody there that had gone on ahead of you. And we always do, but He really didn’t. Nobody had ever walked that lonesome valley before. Other people had come, and they had preached about it. They had taught about it. And they had said, in some cases, almost the identical things that Jesus said. Because they were eternal truths. But the thing that made it so different was that here was someone that came and did it. And not only did it, but expected that we would too.

That if we would abide in Him. And His words abide in us. He said, if happy are ye if ye do these things. And you know, that’s where an awful lot of our unhappiness has come from. We’ve been so much more unhappy so much of the time than if we’d never known the truth. But alas, once we know it, why, we aren’t good enough at kidding ourselves that we can do it successfully. And therefore, we go along with something inside, nagging away. And you’ve answered the telephone and it’s someone that has exasperated you like this pal of mine.

And my partner looks at me and refrains. She’s learned from it too. Because there are a lot of things she used to say or wanted to say that she no longer says. When either he gets me or he gets her on the phone. Because she knows that there’s nothing I can do about it. That he’s part of my job. And he’s sick. He’s sick. He can be an awful nuisance. He can call me ten or twelve times a day at the office. And tell me exactly the same story. And he’s worse every day. I mean, he’s never better. He’s always worse. Which is trying to, because you like to feel that once in a while you can say, “Well, aren’t you a little better?” Well, you can’t. No, he isn’t. It’s always worse than it was yesterday. And that’s tiring, especially in hot weather. But… I hope I’m not worse than I was yesterday, too. But, you know, in this sort of thing, for me at least, this man is not responsible for the fact that he is exasperating. He is desperately unhappy. Desperately unhappy. Silly, it seems to us, yes, that are not sick in the way he’s sick. But I don’t know how, if I’m going to follow on this way, I can do anything about it, do you?

Except go on, trying to be understanding. I don’t think that I have to go out, or that you do have to go out and looking for such things. Heaven knows, I think, that you find enough opportunities. But I don’t think that somehow or other, once we become aware of this, I don’t think we can run away from it any longer. I had a little thing at my, one of my neighborhood banks that wasn’t important to anybody else, but it was important to me. I found, oh, they just exasperated me and drove me almost nuts some days. I thought they’re the most stupid bunch of tellers I’ve ever seen, and they are. They’re like a, well, you’d think that they worked in a five and ten cent store in a little, tiny, sleepy village somewhere. And that none of them had ever been beyond the third grade. That’s about the way they act. This is a New York bank. And, it’s not one of the large ones, it’s a little savings bank, but I go because it’s convenient. They’re convenient for me. And I’ve been working at that bank. I don’t mean I work in it, but I’m working at the job of the bank now for about two years. And I’m almost free of them.

But, they have given me almost every kind of an opportunity there is to lose my patience. And one day I walked out. And I walked back in again. Because I thought, well, you better. It’s gonna get worse before it gets better unless you face it now. And my partner said, “Bob, why don’t you leave? Why don’t you go to another bank?” And I said, “Because I can’t. You could. But I can’t, that’s all.” I know perfectly well, as long as they irritate me, I might just as well stay till they no longer irritate me. They may not get a bit brighter, but that’s not my concern. My concern is, will my reaction improve or won’t it? Well, it’s never gonna improve if I run away. I’ll just have to meet some dragons someplace else. So you might as well stick it out. Because that there’s, there is just, you know, I get awfully tired once in a while about romancing about this path that Jesus walked. And yet no one, I’m sure, has ever had more joyous or happy time than I have at least trying to walk in. I mean, I think those of you who know me at all know that I’m not a terribly solemn person. Also, I’m not nearly as lighthearted as I seem, probably.

But I enjoy life. And I enjoy this life particularly. And I’m not one that feels that every time I mention God, I must change the expression on my face and look as if I’ve lost my last friend. That I admit. But I am not either one that can believe that there’s any point in going on and making a beautiful and wonderful and lovely picture of the Christian life and the Christian road. And never doing anything about it. I just don’t see any point in bothering Him with it at all. At least I’m not going to bother with it. I’d rather be rid of the whole thing entirely. And just lead my own life exactly the way I’d like to. Or else take it seriously and do something about it. And that’s what I hope that you people here are going to feel.

That before this camp is over, that you also, regardless of how far you are on this road, that somehow or other you’re going to want to do more than you’ve ever done before. This last one on here. I forgot which time I talked. I’m afraid my time’s up now, isn’t it? For I say unto you, Ye shall not see me henceforth till ye shall say, Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord.

Someone was talking in the prayer group this afternoon about listening, which we all agreed can sound awfully difficult when you’re starting out on this road. I used to think if I hear any more people stand up and tell about listening to God speak to them, without telling me what they mean, that I’ll scream. And few people ever did tell what they meant, and I didn’t scream either. But at least I decided that when someone asked a death that we’d better talk about it. Because I knew how she felt. You know, people talk so easily about those things. And you know, it takes a long time before you say, well, what on earth do they mean? What do they mean listening to God? I mean, I knew how this person felt, that you can sit there for a long time and listen and listen and listen, and finally say, well, am I kidding myself or what? You know? What do I expect to hear? So we decided that that was the thing that we were going to at least take a few minutes to chat about this afternoon, and we did. And this last verse here.

For I say unto you, Ye shall not see me henceforth, till ye shall say, Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord. That came from listening one day for me. I was in my usual state before I had to make a talk someplace without a thought in my brain, and was riding in a taxi cab rapidly downtown to the place where I was to give this talk. It was a couple of years ago. And I opened the Bible and I saw that. And I thought, well, isn’t that interesting? I never saw that before. I’d read the verse before. But I thought, well, I never knew what that meant before. At least what it meant for me. I knew, yes, that it referred supposedly to the second coming, which is interesting. But, I mean, after all, for my immediate purposes, why, the second coming of Him in my own heart is much more important to me than the details of when and where and how this other second coming that people feel is important is going to happen. That may be, but that is not, that’s not going to change my life now. The one that will change is His second coming within me, this second birth in me. So I suddenly read this and I thought, ye shall not see Him again until ye shall say, Blessed is he that cometh in the spirit, in the name of the Lord.

I thought, well, again, whosoever receives anyone that I send in my name, receive them in my name, you’ll receive me. And if you receive me, you receive Him who sent me. And I thought, yes, that’s when you’ll see Him again. One, is when enough of Him has gotten into you, Bob, that you will suddenly see Him in someone else. Anybody else. Anybody. Whoever He sends in His name. And we’ll say, Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord. Lord, I give You thanks, Lord, for anyone that You have sent into my life for Your purposes and through whom I can learn more of what You want me to learn. Anyone. Blessed is he who cometh in the name of the Lord. Let us pray.

Father, we thank You for speaking in the hearts of each one of us, for what it is that You want to say to each one of us, for being able to take our peculiar words, our not-too-straight thinking always, and translate it into the understanding of every person everywhere. So that each person hears in the spirit the thing that You want them to hear. We thank You that You can do it with each one of us, with the speaker and with everybody else. We thank You that it isn’t words that You’re concerned with, but the living word. We thank You most of all for Your blessed Son, Jesus, who is the way, the truth, and the light, now and forever. Amen. Would we thank you, like, God, for everyone to pray for us? Amen. I am high expectation of another an hour that we cannot find our God and our one decision.