The Petunia In the Onion Patch

The Petunia In the Onion Patch

by Laura Jenkins

Transcribed from the original recording; may contain errors.

At the first camp, Stan Carter remembers that I was in a hospital 16 hours. And I checked out of the hospital at 12:30 in the morning, drove home in the car, and the next day packed and went to the South Florida camp, in a desperate condition.

I had a lifetime of healing that was needed. And there I was walking around in the rain on Barbara Ann Chase’s advice, who told me to go pick a dandelion. And I gave out as Stan and Joe and my husband were walking up the hill. And I was sitting in wet ground under a tree. And I love your music, but that’s not the music I got. And sitting there, I got a little melody going through my head. And that melody was, “I’m a lonely little petunia in an onion patch, and all I ever do is cry, boo-boo.” And Stan Carter walked up the hill with Joe and my husband, and in a loud voice said, “Look at her over there. She hasn’t even got sense enough to get out of the rain, Woody. Go get her.” And Wood said, “Leave her where she is. She’s fine.” And that was the beginning of my camp experience.

My gratitude to all of you because I found the answer in the Word of God, and I’ve been living it ever since. Jesus used parables of the things that people understood, that they could identify with. And He told the parable of the seed and the different kinds of ground and how it would grow. And it takes up several chapters in Matthew. And I was begging for an answer. And I was getting answers like, “Hearing, you don’t hear. Seeing, you don’t see. And understanding, you don’t understand.” Well, eventually after that, I came to this understanding of CFO. And this is what I find all of you to be in my life.

The first children that are born in that parable are born of the Word. And that’s what it outlines in… If I can see it with bifocals. 13, verse… I think it says 18. And it says, “When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, then the wicked one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is he who received seed by the wayside.” But come on down a little bit further over to verse 36. And this is the mixture in CFO. And He said that… Then Jesus sent the multitude away and went into the house. And His disciples came to Him, saying, “Explain to us the parable of the tares of the field.” And He answered and said to them, “He who sows the good seed is the Son of Man. The field is in the world. The good seeds are the sons of the kingdom.” Do you understand that that is the children of God? And the reference to that is in the book of Hosea, where Hosea was told to marry Gomer, who was a prostitute. And three children were born of that marriage. Their parentage is undetermined. But their purpose in being born was God’s purpose, to express His unconditional love for Israel.

So much for that. So here’s where I was at. And this is what I had to learn in 20 years. The Lord, taking an intellectual like me, has a lot of problems. Because I rationalize, I intellectualize, I analyze. I put it through every single process that’s possible. And He decided to teach me, by way of an onion, what the meaning of the bond of faith was. And I used to carry the first copy in my wallet. I think I had it 10 or 12 years, when one day the Lord told me to give it away. And I’m glad for the person who still has it. They’re carrying it in their wallet. But seed is not alike. And the people in CFO are not alike. Some come by the word. Some are sown by the Son of God, and His seed. And so, let’s take the life of an onion. And what happens to it when it goes into the ground. The first thing it needs is space. And then it needs to be left there, idle by itself. And it needs light. And it needs air. And it needs water. And you don’t want to dig it up. Because if you dig it up, you’re going to kill it. Now, it may not like being alone there.

Like I didn’t like being alone. But it’s going to remain there if you just leave it idle. And as it starts to grow from the inside, there’s a magnificent creative engineering feat that God figured out for the onion. He started with the seed and He put a circle. And He added another circle and another circle and another circle. It’s constantly going from inward to the outward. And when the onion field is picked, you get all different sizes, all different shapes, all different weights. They’re entirely different. Then what happens at maturity, regardless of what size they are, they get picked. And at the end of that onion, which was very visible in me, were the fibers of the root. And they didn’t come off very easily. So if we go out and we buy onions, we take them home. And if we’re smart like I am, we put them in the fridge, and other people don’t put them in the fridge. I always like to make things cold for some reason. But if you leave it alone, and you leave it in the fridge, you will find out that the outer paper of it by itself will begin to flake. And many people that come to CFO like I did are very flaky. They are coming apart on the outside.

And there’s a lot more work to be done to go in and get through to the inside. So, I am telling you guys the truth, whether you want to hear it or not, I have surrendered. Wonderful. You will also find out that as the flakes come off, Lord God, deliver me, it’s self-effortless. And once in a while somebody is going to snap at those flakes and they are going to go flying around the place. And the poor thing is going to wish it had that covering back again, where it was nice and secure with that flakiness about it, like I did. But it doesn’t work. So, if you leave this thing alone, totally alone, by itself, like Loretta Davis did for me at North Florida, and put me off in a far building in a room by myself, which is what she did, the flakes are really going to start to break in that room. And that was one of the blessings she did for me.

So, eventually, I went back out into the camps. And there is another paper covering underneath this, going inward again. And I began to realize that there were people around me that were making attempts to peel that second brown layer. And underneath that layer, it was white, and it was firm. And please get the word that it was very securely bonded to its own being where it began. It didn’t really want to be penetrated. Jane is hearing me. Thank You, Lord.

So, they began layering off this second brown wrapping. Now, underneath that was the white meat. And in there were still traces of the green, where it had not fully matured. And they were very visible because there was such a contrast between the white and the green, you know.

So, what happened was, in the prayer groups, some people began to pick up little knives. And they cut from the top to the bottom. And they gradually, camp after camp, got this whole outer layer off of me. And by then, I was really crying. And like Lazarus in the tomb, I stunk to high heaven with what was underneath.

Then we came to the real critical point. Underneath that layer, God, by His divine creative power, has left a very, very fine, thin, fragile membrane. I call that going through the veil while you’re going back inward. Well, there were some people that had a lot of advice for what to do with that veil. A lot of it didn’t work. And then there were other people that were very patiently, as I recall, one had his arm around my shoulder and his hand on my knee, and wouldn’t let me get up and get out of a prayer group. And gradually began to lift that membrane off of me.

By the time that membrane came off, there were still more layers to go on inside. I dread the people in CFO that will rip that membrane prematurely, because there is a season for everything to happen in. And in my case, it was done with such great love and such great sensitivity and such great care, that I believe, although this isn’t in the bond of faith, I believe this is the truth in the bond of faith. So, what happens is you keep going further until you get to that place, centering in, and the layers kept coming off. You hear a lot of the word consciousness in CFO. I prefer that people say Christ consciousness, of the Creator God who started the seed in the first place. And as you go further down into that center, you find that original life where it began.

And it hurts to go through this for the people that are doing this for you. And I say this in all love, because many people shed tears over me not knowing what to do with me. And they knew how to pray for me. And they knew how to leave me alone at the right time. And they knew how to reach out for me at the right time. And most of all, they made themselves available. The thing that I noticed most about them parabolically is that they were the kind of children of the kingdom that the Son of Man had sown. And they knew exactly what piece of bread to put in their mouth of the Word of God in order to stop the tears that were in them for me. And a lot of them had many and tried to hold them back. And they wanted to help. And others took the bread from their own mouths in trying to stop their tears for me. And did more than that. They shared that bread with me that they had. And that made it possible for me to get out some of this garbage that was inside. So what I’d say to you about onions is, they are not all alike. They’re not meant to be alike.

They’re meant to fulfill the being of what God has created them to be, to mature in their own timing, to fulfill their own potentials. And the very nice thing about onions is that they’re always making new varieties. And I think like the Vidalia one that’s come out of Georgia. And God’s always got more varieties in mind of how He’s going to bring about new creations, varieties and such of His own work. And if you take this onion… Lord God, deliver me now. If you take this onion, you can slice that thing sideways and come up with a variety of circles. And as leaders, you can spread out more of the bond of faith. Although I do believe in the vision of CFO, that some of the onions are going to be chopped. They’re going to be chopped very fine. They’re going to be sauteed. They’re going to be warmed over. They’re going to be heated through. And they are going to be added to other parts of God’s creation. And they are going to feed and flavor and minister to the body of Christ. And so what I would say to you is I thank you. I thank you from my heart. And I thank everyone throughout CFO, Norman Elliott, Al Louie Brown, Margo Kilburn, Jane Ross.

I especially thank God for the quiet ones who in quietness and confidence go on believing when there doesn’t look like there’s any hope. That was Jared Wolski, Bernie Munsey and Stan Carter, my big brother. And you’ve just been willing to die to yourselves to bring forth life in me. And because you did that for me through the early years, 13 years ago when my husband took sick, and I would go through five and a half years and 15 congestive heart failures with him and see his life extended from six months to five and a half years, a very reduced quality of life. Because I was healed in those parts of the processes at the time that I was, I was better prepared to minister to him because of the ministry that I received from all of you. And I believe that he went on his final voyage into the eternal. And I know that it was your ministry that helped me to minister to him.

I can’t express enough gratitude towards you. I had some problems with one word in CFO, and that was about being perfect. And in the process, I had not come to the realization I was worn out, I was tired, and I didn’t research it. But the word being made perfect in love means to be made complete. And a few minutes ago, before this talk started, you sang a song about being made complete. Well, I don’t think God is finished with me yet. And He may decide to chop me up and sauté me in a frying pan. And He might decide to add me between two slices of the bread of life at McDonald’s. I don’t know. And I may get served up at the Golden Arches. I don’t think anybody here knows what’s gonna happen in the future to any of us. But… it’s a wonderful blessing when there are people who will love you and allow you the long years that it took me to come into the self-actualization of himself in us. And that was what I needed. I needed patience. I needed time. And I hope that, in what I’ve shared with you, that you might feel in yourselves and be validated by me in gratitude that what you have given to me is really the pearl of great price.

And I appreciate being one of those onions in the field of CFO. And I thank my God, really, I think about you sometimes and I laugh about you. Because when those tubers started pushing outward through that whole thing and the flakes wouldn’t come off, I mean, I was the most disastrous looking sight you ever saw. But there is life. And it’s there. And I just can’t thank any of you enough for all of what you’ve done. And I’ve let you know me now. And I normally don’t let people into my thought life.

I like parabolic teaching. I like the way the Lord teaches me these things in simplicity because I really do need it. And my heart is just very, very full. And you’re all so special to me. I have one desire. I’d like to close with that. And my desire, if you will bring me into it, is to write a book anonymously. I’ve spent 25 years working with fields of onions, all different kinds, one to one. I’d like the Lord to give me the courage to write a book about the fields of onions and the different kinds and what happened to them. And for me, that would be the fulfillment of my favorite creative writing. I thank you. I can’t thank you. God bless her.

That was beautiful. Thank you. She did a lot of peeling. And I love onions. Did I make it in the half hour? You did wonderful. Laura’s here. I’ll let you know me. Marjorie, I told Bernie when he called me, Marjorie Cook lovingly confronted me about three years ago at the North Florida camp and said, “Laura, I want you outside and I want to talk to you.”

And she got me outside and she said to me, “Laura, I’ve always admired you. But you know something? I don’t know you.” And I said, “You don’t know me.” She said, “No, Laura, you have to be willing to let people know you from the inside out. You’ve been through a lot.” And I really feel that it’s Marjorie that got me here this morning. And I don’t know when I’ll see her, but she sure did push me. I mean, it wasn’t a nudge. It was a shove. I’ve watched Laura for 16, 18 years. Very long been going to CFO. We started about the same time. And Laura’s been a real growing edge for a lot of people. As we were trying to… working through those feelings. And as we all have. And one of the things that we need to guard against in CFO… The Christians, I think, are the only religion that kill their wounded.

And CFO seems to attract a lot of wounded Christians. And we need to… And this testimony just affirms that we need to be sensitive to the hurts and needs of people that come. And not assume that everybody there is where we are. And we tend to have minimum standards. Christian minimum standards. And that we expect people to uphold to. When Jesus does not have minimum standards for us.

No peak performance levels. That’s right. He says, “I know… you can’t… you’re not perfect. And you can’t do all of this. But in the Spirit, you can. And through the power of the Holy Spirit, you can.” And we have… In Romans somewhere, it says, “Who are you to condemn another man’s servant?” You wouldn’t go into somebody’s house and say, “Isabel, you didn’t do this carpet right. Come back here and do this carpet right.” No, we do that as Christians. You know, you’re not… We’re… the servants of God. And we… we have no right to… to condemn each other. That’s the message that was here. What’s so beautiful… in my experience, and… I am a part of the UPT… I like to pray… using… what I’ve just shared with you.

Because so many people in the world, from pain and woundedness, they’re very afraid to trust themselves in intimacy. Even to their own being. And he keeps grinning at me with that beard over there. I didn’t trust the intimacy levels when I first came to CFO. But I found many a time somebody just walk up alongside me, put their arm around me, say nothing and just start walking with me. It didn’t take the words. It took the attention that was non-exploitive. It was not performance oriented, like Stan said. And so, when I do the work for the UPT, which I do daily in prayer work, I pray that we’re going to preserve the trust levels of integrity and intimacy in CFO. I mean, we have a good time. We laugh together. We enjoy each other. But that is so valuable, to see seed entrust itself into the ground of our vision as it was given to us. And I don’t think that we can just plow that ground up and move it off with the dirt move… I just don’t think we ought to do that. Our ground is very, very fertile. And the seed should be able to come and be planted and grow and develop and mature. And we’re going to face problems…

In life… let’s face it… and the best foundation we have in us is going to see us through those problems. When they cut…