What If I Had Loved Instead of Hating?

What If I Had Loved Instead of Hating?

by Bert Kerley

Transcribed from the original recording; may contain errors.

Well, you know, we really are having a wonderful time with us singing, isn’t it? To think this all comes from our sea of hoesomber. The treasures are there, and we are finding them. Really, this is magnificent song leading and singing. So beautiful. We’re getting everything.

Can you hear me now, friends? I said, what a wonderful time we’re having with us singing, and the song leading and the beautiful playing. And we’re discovering great hymns and songs from our magnificent CFO songbook. It’s a real joy.

Right, I’ll go up the stage. Let’s get it right. I’d like everybody to be comfortable and happy. And may the words of mine now, and the thoughts of all our hearts, be now and always acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord, our strength and our Redeemer.

I’ve been very interested in listening to the counselling and their concerns about the insurance problem, you know, activities that might be dangerous. And it is getting a little bit of a problem, isn’t it? I’m very interested in the story that we’re just a little bit careful now, just what we do in case we get caught in the courts, in litigation. And I was reminded of the little story of the boy that was walking on the street and fell over a shovel, or spade, whatever you call it, that was left there by the worker. And he really hurt himself and tears welled up in his eyes. And a dear lady coming down the street saw this and says, “Little boys don’t cry, you know.” He said, “I’m not going to cry, I’m going to sue.”

I’m sorry buddy. I was doing a lot of wisdom in youngsters. And it’s lovely to see this in the spirit develop, isn’t it? And I remember asking one little guy, the lad in our mission, and said to him, “If you had seven cakes, and I asked you for three, how many would you have left?” And he thought a while and he said, “Seven.”

He wasn’t going to let me have any. There’s a lot of wisdom comes from it, isn’t there? By the way, you know, sometimes when I’m on the stories, I’m not telling the truth. You know, I’m telling a few porkies.

Like yesterday, when I mentioned about the camps, you know, I wouldn’t show if you have a wrong understanding of camps here. I have offered my services free, but I’ve never sort of had anybody say anything unkind to me about speakers. You know, I’ve had only love and kindness and consideration for every care that I’ve been in. Whatever that is. Got it? So, you’ll notice that when I don’t tell lies, my hair stands up on it.

As we got one or two minutes, I thought I’d just introduce you a little bit of a history of how I lost most of my cockney. Of course, nowadays, it pays to speak cockney, doesn’t it? And a lot of people have made fortunes by remaining in their cockney. But you know, they used to try and slow our speech down when we were in school, when we were cockneys. The cockney speech is a very quick one. And so they thought it was, if you’re going to make anything in the world, you ought to have a decent speech.

And so one of the little sentences they used to ask us to say was this one. I cannot hold a hot potato in my hand. Now, can you say that, friends? I will say that. I cannot hold a hot potato in my hand. Now, say that twice. And then, you know, sounding all the H’s and the T’s and the P’s. I cannot hold a hot potato in my hand. A bit quicker. I cannot hold a hot potato in my hand. Go stick it up your sweater.

No? Why burn your fingers? No, you’re good, no. No, no, no. Anyhow. It’s a work. No. I’d like to read to you a magnificent passage from Ephesians chapter 3, friends. And it’s… It just is so beautiful. For this reason, I bow my knees before the Father from whom every family in heaven and earth is named. That according to the riches of His glory, He may grant you to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man. And that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. That you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have power to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth. And to know the love of Christ, which surpasses knowledge. That you may be filled with the fullness of God. That you may have power to comprehend with all the saints. Now, to Him, by the power at work within us, is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think. To Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Now to Him who by the power at work within us…

All the great spiritual teachers have used simple stories to tell sublime truths. And I think personally the two greatest stories ever told were those of the prodigal son and the good Samaritan man. In those two stories you have all of religion. You have a great understanding of the nature of God and the purpose of life.

For this morning I would like to introduce you to another story which also tells Kate’s truth that I want to express and convey to you and remind you of this morning. I say remind you because I am aware that there are so many of us here who have experienced these big truths and lived by them. The story is about a woodcutter who lived on the edge of a forest. It could have been a person in another business or in the middle of an estate. But for this story it is a woodcutter on the edge of a forest. He wasn’t a very happy man. He was always looking for satisfaction in his life. And he couldn’t find it in being single. And so like many people, and it is a narrative that is often made, they think they can find it in marriage life. And so, he took to himself a wife. And so, he found that that was not the answer.

The consolation of matrimony soon died, with the result that he was more confused and dissatisfied. He tried to build himself a house and it was badly built, so he didn’t get any satisfaction out of that. His wife, who also was a dissatisfied woman, also seeking a good life, couldn’t get her husband to realize his potential. So she was getting very frustrated. So she nagged him relentlessly. In deference to the ladies here, we also know that men do nag. I want you to understand that this is not a sexist talk at all.

There again, they made a common mistake. They thought, well, the answer might be in having children. So they bore a child. But the child that was being raised up in an atmosphere of dissatisfaction, with unsatisfied people around it, registered its dissatisfaction vigorously. Aaaaaaah!

When you think of it, that’s marvellous. When a youngster is born, it lives from within. When it wants some food, it screams, doesn’t it? Isn’t God good that He’s given a scream? Have you ever thought what would happen if it was just a coo He gave, when he wanted some food? And you’re off asleep, and you hear “coo.” He said, “Let him sleep.”

That’s what you live from within, when you’re born. Later on, you start living from without, and that’s where the problems come. So the baby was screaming. In addition, the woodcutter lacked job satisfaction. His job was just going into the starved forest, cutting down trees, cutting them into logs, and bearing them back again. And that’s all he did day after day. He had a donkey to help him. So he loaded the wood onto the donkey’s back, and the donkey would go with it. And the donkey was a constant reminder to him of his degradation of his work, and how distasteful it was. And so the woodcutter kept beating the donkey, venting his frustration on it. And so both in anticipation of the beating and because of it, the donkey, in answer to the blows, brayed without ceasing.

I said brayed without ceasing. Got it? So life for the woodcutter was indeed a very heavy burden. He reflected that whilst most people had something to look forward to, he had nothing. The only alternative to a miserable home, a nagging wife, and a crying child, was dreary work in a dark forest and a braying donkey. However, there was one bright spot in the background. About 12 miles distance was a mountain. It was a very beautiful mountain. He’d never been there, but he’d heard stories of how God dwelt in this mountain. He said that the climbers had been there and said there’s beautiful flowers around. There’s wonderful views. But the most important thing about this mountain, they said, was that this was the place where God dwelt. So pressed in by an unbearable home, a nagging wife, and a crying child, and a braying donkey, he decided he would think about going to this mountain to try and find a place where God was.

He thought about it, the joy of climbing up there, of seeing new flora around, of seeing the forest from a different perspective. But above all, he thought, well, if I can get to that place where God dwells, then I will find full satisfaction.

Well, he kept thinking about it, but you know, you can keep thinking about it for so long, but you’ve got to do something about it. And after a while, when the dissatisfaction got too great, and more overwhelmed by the unbearable home, the nagging wife, and the crying child, and the braying donkey, yeah, he started, he would do something about it. So he made a resolution, looking up at that mountain, he would go up to that mountain. He would find a place at the summit, where according to legend, God dwelt. But he said, first of all, I’ll give myself about seven days to prepare myself. He must know all about this God who dwelt up the top of the mountain. So the first day, he went to the library and read all the beautiful things written about this God up on the mountain.

Another day, he went along to all the teachers to ask them about this God. But the thing he found about them was they asked him no questions, they simply gave him all the answers. Another day, he went around the town, talking to all the people who belonged to the schools organized by these experts.

And they said that these matters could only properly be discussed on the seventh day. He saw a group of devotees, and they said you couldn’t find God up there, you must find Him in the east. Then there was another group who said He wasn’t on the mountain at all, He was on the plains. And he got him more confused. But, however, he had decided he would do something about it. For he still wanted to climb the mountain.

Early next morning, he turned his back on his uncomfortable home, his nagging wife, and his crying child, and he made forth towards the mountain. He had one anger to find the place where God dwelt. For this would release him, would bring him out of his despair, would give him fulfillment. This is what his soul once desired. And so he started off, and he got to the foot of the mountain, and he started to climb.

And as he went up, he forgot about looking at all the flora, and he was so intent on getting there. He forgot about resting a while and looking at the beautiful views. He so wanted to get this place. And so he climbed and climbed. And as he was climbing, he saw the sun was setting. But he got near to the top, and he was tired. And then he saw right upon the top a cluster of bushes. Right? And he thought, that’s the place where God dwells. And so, crawling forward on his knees, a little bit apprehensive, he parted the bushes. And there, he saw where the place God dwelt was an uncomfortable home, a nagging wife, a crying child, and a…

So, if you don’t look for God, you’ve got to start with Him. Wherever you are, no matter what the circumstances are that are surrounding you, the place to look for Him is within. The power lies within us. We just went from the scripture.

We have some wonderful examples of this in some of our leaders. But before telling you those, I’d like to tell you what St. Augustine said about this God in us, the power that dwelleth in us. He said, “I, Lord, went wandering like a stray sheep, seeking You with anxious reasoning without, whilst You were within me.

I went round the streets and cities of the world seeking You and found You not. I was in vain. Because in vain I sought without for Him who was within myself.” There’s a man of trust, man, that’s true.

I mentioned Starr Daily last night. And if there’s ever an example of this great truth, it was in the life of Starr Daily. Here he was, this beloved CFO speaking leader. His mother died when he was born. At eight years, he went up to a podium in the school and had to give a recitation.

He forgot his words. And the youngster started to laugh. But more importantly, his teacher behind him started to laugh. And so Starr Daily rushed off the platform and rushed into a life of crime. Isn’t that an illustration of how careful we’re gonna be sometimes? The little things that lead to big things. He went into 25 years of crime, 14 years in a chain gang and penitentiaries. He was put in for prison for life. And his father who had been praying for him all that time, died. Now one would have thought if David sort of stood by his bedside, what’s the hood of prayer? What does Norman so beautifully said? In God’s time. In this time. His prayers had been answered. But he hadn’t seen. But then, he was put into a cell, a punishment cell, because he’d been accused of some trouble. And there ensued a battle of the will between the warden and Starr Daily. And for 15 days, he was handcuffed up and only taken down at night. He was determined with the power of hate to win through.

So you can imagine the circumstances which surrounded this man were the blackest possible. But he had an experience of Christ’s presence in that cell. Who’s to know? That’s what happened when his father prayed. Who’s to know? But this, he did know. But he had this tremendous thought. “What if I’d have loved instead of hating?” And there and then he started to love and amazing things started to happen. The door opened and he was taken out.

He was careful. Eventually, he was put into this cell with the life of… and taught the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, the taught meditation, how to practice the power of blood. And he went out and practiced it. And then in five years, this man who was put in prison for life, was allowed out. And became one of our greatest features on love we’ve had. The power of wicked within.

George Washington Carver is another one well known to us in CFO. He was a great friend of Glenn Clark. And there’s a wonderful book on the bookstore, The Man Who Talked With Flowers. Any of you ever read that? What a book, didn’t it? What a book.

And George Washington Carver here, born during the days of a brutal war between Missouri and Kansas. He was born of Negro parents, slaves of a man called Moses Carver. Moses Carver. His father was crushed by a log while he was still a boy, babe. His mother was stolen by some white raiders, come and took the mother and the baby off, and they took them out. But Moses Carver was a great man. He paid a man to go and find them. So much did he love these people. Isn’t that wonderful? And he sent this man out, and the man went out, but the mother had been sick, and he couldn’t find her, but he found this little boy, George Washington Carver. Now, he was a boy, born, father died and had a baby, his mother taken away, he was born in slavery, in a slave area, and he had all the disadvantages of a boy that couldn’t get any education took. But he used to go out into the fields and talk with God. And God showed him so many secrets. And he wouldn’t have no finance. He wanted an education, and he went for it, and if a door was shut, he went somewhere else. He was working from the power within him. And this young little black boy, born in those circumstances, became one of your greatest scientists.

His work actually saved the economy of southern states of America. And we know that he was loved by presidents and paperboys. What a wonderful illustration of the power within. You know, Jesus, I want to address myself to you again. If you only understood this tremendous truth, that God dwells in you. The Christ consciousness is all there, waiting to produce all that He mentioned to me. Isn’t that wonderful?

Stay with him. You may not understand it, but stay with him. One of these youngsters could change the world. Isn’t that so? Any one of them. Look at these little boys, what they did. Look what the little boy did in Nazareth.

Born in all circumstances. I mean, what would you think of putting the prince of the world? Surely He must have a place like Churchill, you know, that was born in a magnificent mansion. But He wasn’t. A pokey little place. I mean, honestly, if you’ve been to, sort of Nazareth and Bethlehem, you’d think nothing of these places.

But this little boy, dusty boy, to run around the streets, obviously He’s fierce, but, He changed the world, and still the world relies on Him for the saving of it. And the potential’s in within each one of us.

Tremendous, isn’t it? Another great example is Helen Keller. Now, Helen Keller loved all about God from the Swedenborg, a type of religion. And we sometimes criticize the different types of religion, but she learned to know this love of God from the Swedenborg teaching. And this was a girl who, at the age of two, suffered a series of illness. She lost the ability to see, hear, and speak. Now, just imagine, your eyes closed, you can’t hear anything, and you can’t speak. What could be worse than that? What could life hold for a little child like that? It’s incredible, isn’t it? And yet, here it comes, through the love of a teacher, the love is the operative power. Someone loved enough. Right? Through Anne Sullivan, she saw with her hands, she heard by placing her fingers on people’s lips and their throats. And that’s how she learned to speak. And then, one day, after years of persevering, the light began to glow from within her. She began to understand. And then moved out to live a magnificent life, bringing blessings to thousands of others. The power that worketh within us.

Are these exceptional cases, friends? They’re not. Each one of them was a little baby, born of ordinary parents. I find this a great help in my work. I work in counseling now, as I said. And it’s an education, actually, to sit there with these friends, these people, in so much pain, and to observe the laws of the world working. In many, many different ways.

And I’m often, I’m so thankful for what I’ve learned in CFO. And much of the teaching I’ve had from CFO, I use in counseling. And I really don’t think I would be anywhere near as effective or helpful without this teaching. And it’s wonderful to see what God is doing through it, in some cases.

I had a lady come. She was a woman that had been happily married, with three adopted children. And she thought everything was going fine, in a suburban home. Her husband had a good job. Youngsters all day in school. Nothing to want. Good house. Her husband went out one afternoon and said, “I’ve got to go to work.”

And he did that occasionally, so she didn’t think anything strange. But then she went to bed. He hadn’t come home, but she thought, well, he’ll be home soon. But she was woken up three o’clock in the morning by the police.

And she came in with a police lady and said, “I have some sad news to tell you. Your husband has just been found dead.” He had committed suicide by placing a rubber hose to his exhaust in his car at his farm.

That had happened so few months, and she had got so much into herself. And she wouldn’t play the violence. She wouldn’t do anything. She couldn’t go out. She was just absolutely bucked and she was devastated. She was so angry that he’d done this and left her with these three adopted children. “How could he do it?” she said.

And so we helped to talk it out. Of course, one of the problems was that the man kept all his problems to himself. He never let her know he was worried. So she couldn’t understand why he would do this. But he had probably been going through mental agony for weeks. Actually, one of the things that had made him so depressed was he had introduced a young man into his firm. And then the losses that put this one man in his position and made him in a sort of minor position. And he sort of stood about it the day after. You can understand that. But he was taking it all in one and he didn’t share it.

There was this woman with these three adopted children on her own. Absolutely depressed. Now this is where we come. It helps us to know this truth. And a little phrase I often use to my words, at the right time, is this. It is not our circumstances which make us happy or unhappy. It’s our attitude to the circumstances. We so often wait for the circumstances to change, whereas actually the truth is, it’s the attitude that means changing. Now this is truly given by Jesus. You know, it’s a magnificent passage. When He says in Matthew 6 and 24, He talks about, “Have not anxious soul. Your Father knows what you have need of. Seek ye first His kingdom and His righteousness and all the other things shall be added unto you.”

Drawn to you. And so to this dear lady, at the right time, I showed her this. And she began to realize this. And you know, she came to see me about two weeks ago. This is some two years on. She actually went back into the church. Slowly and surely she regained her life. She met a man in the church, who also had three teenagers, and was, didn’t have a wife. And they grew in friendship, and they married, and they really are having a wonderful time together. And they were like, you would not believe that possible. Unless you understand this secret. It’s not our circumstances which control our happiness. But our attitude. And if you understand the attitude, it’s because God dwells within us. You know the secret of it. It’s how to live in that knowledge and truth.

And I’m so pleased. I say every youngster hope to learn these things, years before they ever hear of them in the church. There was another man came in. I had a phone call from the authorities, the Citizens Advice Bureau.

And they said to me, “We got a man here, he’s absolutely devastated. He hasn’t got any home, but we’ll take care of that. We’ll put him in the bed and breakfast. But we think you ought to see him.” And so I said, “Well, send him down straight away.” I have to have a spare hour there, which is unusually counseling usually, but if there is a spare hour, and you get a phone call like that, you get an inner feeling this is the right thing to do. So he comes down to me. And he tells me a very, very tragic story. Actually, he had just been arrested a few days before by the police for raping his wife. A divorce procedure was going forth, and he was living in the home, and he had tried to have intercourse with his wife against her wishes. And this now is considered raping the wife.

He had two daughters. One was furious and was helping the mother, or encouraging the mother to take up the case. The other was a youngster, who I’ll tell you a little bit later. The story came out, for five years he had been an alcoholic. He’d been in and out of homes. He had spent 20,000 pounds on trying to be free from alcohol. Sometimes 200 pounds a night in homes. He had a great job, but he’s lost the job. So here was a man who had lost his wife, who had lost his job, he had lost his home. He was not allowed by the police to go anywhere near his home, or his wife, or older daughter. And he had to report to the police station every night at a certain time. No home, no job, no home. Poor man was devastated.

And he was letting it all come out. The tears were flowing. And that’s really what we have to do. Just listen and let the tears come out. And he was baring his soul. And so he did the thing we’ve been told in CFO. Just keep listening and loving. Listening and loving. Listening and loving. I gave him before he went, The Power of Positive Mind. Norman Peale wrote. I said to him, “Jim, no,” I said, “It’s not our circumstances that make us happy or unhappy. It’s our attitude to those circumstances. Can you really try as best you can to understand that God can help you? Why would you turn to Him?” Well, you know, one of the lovely things about him was, his remorse was absolutely genuine. It was absolutely genuine. He just hated himself for it. And he hated everything he’d done to his family.

He came another time, and I learned that his children had stopped completely. I hadn’t prayed on for him. I hadn’t prayed on for him. But it has stopped. He then found a flat. He’s now got a wonderful job. The case is still going to go on in the Crown Court. We have a case, first of all, in the magistrates, of course. And if it’s serious, it has to go to the Crown Court. And that’s still pending. But I want to say, the difference in this man is incredible. And I was so true. He came especially to see me. He’s working so hard. And such a genius. “I want to see you before you go away.” And he came and we just shared. And it was wonderful, see the transformation. He said, and it was so beautiful, he said, “I’m so sorry. I don’t want to hurt my wife at all. I just want to tell the truth.” He said, “And I know if I have to be punished, I’m going to accept the punishment. Because,” he said, “I know God is with me.” You know, do you know, that man’s going to be alright. And the very laws of the universe are working towards him now. God is already drawing help to him. And one of the main helps he had was that his 13 year old daughter chose to continue to go and be with him every Friday night and every Saturday.

And take him flowers. The love was coming in. But love was coming in. And the power was restored. When that went on. And the last story I should tell you is a very, very sad story. It was a woman who lived in a little seaside town. And she had gone out one day. She had two children. One, a little boy, three. And a little baby, one and a half. And she was wheeling in a little wheel of the baby. And the little boy was riding his bicycle along the pavement. And the bicycle had stabilizers on. Those little stabilizers to help you ride the bike, don’t you? And, of course, they’re good, but they’re dangerous if the paving slopes. And they had been going down this footpath. Footpath. Footpath. Sorry. Footpath, got it? Thank you, Norman. And this was a narrow footpath. And there’s been complaints about this footpath for years in the high street. But no one had ever done it. Learn that lesson, friend. God does get the whoopings. But people don’t listen. And then one day she was walking down this footpath. And the boy was riding in front of her. And she was walking just two or three yards behind. And as the boy was going along, she felt a great big gravel lorry passing by her shoulder.

And just as it passed, the boy’s bicycle tilted. And he fell into the road. And the lorry ran over. And she was the first one to pick the little boy up dead. What an experience. What a shattering experience. What can you do to ease such freedom? So she came along and talked every part of that incident out. It’s so important, friends, isn’t it? To talk out the feelings, the thoughts. To get it out of our system.

Again, yes, as I encourage you to do that. Try it with your parents. If you find it difficult, I’ll talk to a loving friend. But talk your feelings out. The damage done by suppressing is tremendous. Anyhow, we talked to her. And this dear lady let all her feelings out. And then she brought her husband, a wonderful couple. And they again expressed themselves. And then at the right time I said to them something like that again. You know, whatever our circumstances, we can regain happiness if we find the right attitude. And so they did. They began to use their grief in a practical way. They planned a magnificent garden for the nursery where their boy was. They planned it in such a way that all the kiddos could run up and down the little railway lines that they made with logs. That they could hide behind the bushes that they planned to grow there. And all the flowers they made in a beautiful rainbow effect. Right the way on up. They’re using their grief to bring beauty to this world. And they are slowly and surely coming back into life. Now they came to see me on Thursday morning before I flew out on the front. And they tell me this magnificent news that the wife has just conceived again.

And they’re looking forward to another blessing from God. Isn’t that wonderful? Isn’t that wonderful? There is nothing that can stop the work of our Lord. Because that comes from Him. But it is also connected with everything without. Because Christ is all in all. God is only present. To understand this is to understand this great secret, isn’t it? God.

I know that here, there are a lot of people that are having difficulties. And it’s painful. And sometimes you can’t keep up this sort of faith that’s expected of us. So it’s nice to sometimes to get away somewhere. So that there is only a sense of God and me together. Where we can refresh our minds that this is true. And we can talk to Him because He’s there with us. He’s in it with us. He can give us that encouragement. He can give us the strength to go on when it seems it’s impossible.

I too love one of those statements. Norman mentioned the other. When the night is dark, the stars now matter. If we understand that we’re not in it alone. That He’s there with us. It’s not our circumstances that make us happy or unhappy. It’s our attitude to the circumstances. And to us who believe in Christ, who understand that Christ dwelleth in us. We know that He can do a thing more abundantly above all that we ask for. According to the power that worketh in us.

Shall we just be still on that? Shall we just try to get a sense of that light and love within? Spreading forth from the sense of the heart of God. Shall we also try, just as we accept the sun rays, to accept the rays of love that are all around us. That will penetrate to every part of our being.

And when we have a problem to heart of that. Shall we perhaps just realize now? I love this sense of the presence of Christ. Maybe in our imagination, having standing beside us, His arm around our shoulder. Let those of us who are adults, pro-grown young people.

That they may realize their full potential. That whenever they may be in trouble or difficulties, they may remember their difficulties. that they may be facing. With their inner fears. Feelings of insecurity or inferiority. That may have realized the friendship of Christ.

Father, we do thank You for this great night. We thank You for what You have done with so many of these people, who have been in so much trouble. We thank You for what You have done in our lives. We thank You that You have lifted us out of so many bits. You have opened up so many beautiful ways. That You have been there when we needed You. Help us to stay close with You as best as we can. So that You may continue to do Your work and fulfill Your plan throughout us. We ask it in Jesus’ name.

Amen.